A girl can only dream and that is exactly what I plan to do in the next ten minutes. To my night audience thank you for gracing my blog with your presence. As for me my slumber awaits and I intend to meet it halfway.
To the morning audience Good Morning and happy Friday enjoy your weekend responsibly, I take that back it's Spring so hey go crazy I know I plan to. Operation Vezi Thanga is underway, that does not apply to cottage cheese thighs though, black men are lactose intolerant.
Zzzzzzz
Ms_Curvy
Friday, 31 August 2012
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Speacial mention goes to..
This special one goes to Martin and Joey two guys I just met on my way to Res. We just sat and talked, or rather they listened to me talk lol. It was like they said, refreshing and rare. That's what I get from interacting with a lot of people or at least try to get. Thank you guys you made the walk through the maze bearable.
It's nice to meet people on the same wave lenght, who just get it without you having to explain. People who laugh and listen to what you have to say. I used to think it was too forward to just gel with people and have that ,we have known each other for years,welcome to my world kinda feeling. I used to be reprimanded for that on the daily and I was made to believe it was wrong.
Until I met a very special friend (you know who you are) who taught me it was ok to be me in doses. She always said, not too much. I remember the words she pinned on the wall for me to recite
That was the best gift anyone's ever given to me. I modified myself but I will never stop being me.
I might not have understood why I am the way I am but I do now. I am what God wants me to be. I bring hope,joy and light wherever I go. Not to mention laughter. Those are good things to bring with and their always welcome. To all those people who stomach me, thank you for allowing me to be me.
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
It's nice to meet people on the same wave lenght, who just get it without you having to explain. People who laugh and listen to what you have to say. I used to think it was too forward to just gel with people and have that ,we have known each other for years,welcome to my world kinda feeling. I used to be reprimanded for that on the daily and I was made to believe it was wrong.
Until I met a very special friend (you know who you are) who taught me it was ok to be me in doses. She always said, not too much. I remember the words she pinned on the wall for me to recite
- observe
- listen
- talk less
That was the best gift anyone's ever given to me. I modified myself but I will never stop being me.
I might not have understood why I am the way I am but I do now. I am what God wants me to be. I bring hope,joy and light wherever I go. Not to mention laughter. Those are good things to bring with and their always welcome. To all those people who stomach me, thank you for allowing me to be me.
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
Music in the air...
I
love music. I don’t know how many people out there share my sentiments but I’m
pretty sure it’s everybody. Music can help you fall madly in love or help
salvage what is left of a broken heart. Every time you listen to a song it
sparks some memory of something whether it be happiness or hurt. We have all
found ourselves in a cross roads and turned to music to help us make a
decision. You turn to it to either find comfort or reassurance.
I have found that if you want to get over
something for example, you should never listen to songs that remind you of all the happy
times. A song can induce a range of emotions and you don’t want to find
yourself stuck in a memory that makes you question the decisions you’ve made or
are about to make. I have once again appointed myself the task of listing a number of songs
you should listen to if you want to move on, keep moving, be inspired and most
importantly stay.
Top 5 Songs for
moving on:
Exhale_
Whitney Houston
No
more drama_ Mary J Blidge
Erykah Badu_ Tyrone
Xfactor_
Lauryn Hill
Toni
Braxton_ Let it flow
Top 5 songs to
keep moving:
Beyonce_
Me Myself and I
Keisha
Cole_ Sad and lonely
Phil
Collins_ In the air tonight
Lira_
Hamba ( aka vokof)
Jazmine
Sullivan_ Bust the windows
Top 5 songs to
inspire you:
Letta
Mbulu_ Not yet uhuru
Labi
Siffre_Something inside so strong
Stevie
Wonder_ Es Una Historia
Sam
Cooke_ Change is gonna come
Bob Marley_ Redemption song
Top 5 songs that
will make you stay:
Sade_
Is it a crime
Toni
Braxton_ I want to be your baby
Patti
LaBelle_ Love, want and need you
Kem_
Love never fails.
Luther
Vandross_ Here and now.
Kind
Regards
Ms_Curvy
l.o.v.e
Love and appreciation goes out to every single one who is giving Ms_Curvy a big head. This baby is growing and I hope you stick around for the milestones. You know what they say, It takes a community to raise a child.
I'm humbled and will continue to do me best, that is what I know and am true to.
Thank you! A thousand kisses.
Ms_Curvy
I'm humbled and will continue to do me best, that is what I know and am true to.
Thank you! A thousand kisses.
Ms_Curvy
SABS APPROVED.
“Men respect standards,
get some!” On the real though it’s about time some women got standards and the
ones who do, try and maintain them. We are losing some serious respect and we
are just oblivious to that fact. Truth is most of these guys are not trying
hard enough, some are not even trying at all but we turn a blind eye. We find ourselves in arrangements we know we
should not be in, in the first place. The only arrangements I’m interested in
are ones of me getting paid!
Standards are like
walls the higher they are the better, trust me. Guys have become too lazy
because we allow them. This is a jungle men are hunters and we are the hunted
it has been this way since the dawn of time. A hunter goes for the kill; he
tactfully plans his attack with precision and goes for the jugular. But todays
prey is not worth the effort, it has become too easy, there is no thrill. In
the cycle of life the weaker species is always fighting for survival and
devises the best defence mechanisms to prevent being a victim. The point I’m
trying to drive across is that the women of today have become too available. We
can be reduced to prey that takes itself to the predator. Imagine a chicken
bringing itself to you with a fork, knife and seasoning, that’s us we are
begging to be eaten and yes PUN INTENDED.
One of my good guy
friends was like, you’re gold so start owning that and remember how hard it is
to extract it from the earth and that some men die just to get it. I was forced
to sit down and assess that statement, not only because it was coming from a
man but because I wanted to know what it meant to me and my life. The word gold
stuck out to me. What is gold? Gold is the stuff that paves the pathways to
heaven that’s what it is! Gold is a
commodity. A commodity girls, is something of value. It is hard to come by firstly and secondly
people aspire to own it.
It’s time we recognise
our value and maintain some damn standards. Stop breaking down your walls
(standards) keep them high. The lower your walls are the more accessible you
are, I mean some ladies walls are so low guys don’t even need to plan the jump anymore, they just walk in
and out with their hands in their pockets, whistling. It is very easy to
establish standards; you just have to know who you are and what you want and
more especially what you don’t want. Once that is done, the tricky part is to maintain
them. Upkeep is of the utmost importance
and you can achieve that by being vocal about what you want and don’t want. I
have found that being honest and vocal filters out the nonsense that was just
going to be a waste of time.
If you have standards
then you must know they go hand in hand with self-respect. Your body is a temple
not a 24 Hour Gas Station; this one is to the ladies who act like they have no
sense. Yes I mean the girls with legs that simulate automated doors; you would
swear they have sensors in between their thighs. It is ok to say NO. Remember
Cinderella? Well, all she lost to find
her prince charming was a glass slipper and not her dignity. So pick up
yourself and whatever little pride you have left and start constructing your wall.
Someone worth you will get through it without you having to lower it or
yourself. I always tell people be careful of what you want to be remembered and
known for, it resonates through time. Orgasms and false flattery however are however ,momentary.
Its time to concentrate
on other things in your life. Be a formidable woman, go out there and get
yours. Pay no mind to things you know you shouldn’t be paying attention to
anyway. They say don’t make a person a priority if they only make you an option.
Make yourself a priority you know you only have your best interests at heart.
Things will happen when they have to and in their own time. Start exercising the
power to dismiss what you can see. Tell yourself its ok not to think you can
change every dog that you meet. Remind yourself it’s not your job to teach an
old dog new tricks and walk away. Maya
Angelou says “If the first time someone shows you who they are believe them.”
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
Something new
Is your relationship and most importantly your sex life hanging on a piece of thread? Are you tired of routine, doing the same thing over and over again? Do you have to try harder for his little friend to rise to the occassion? Without me running the risk of sounding like a love potion commercial, I'm here to hand you the fuse to re ignite the flame.
As much as we like to b*tch about men and what they don't do in bed, I shudder at the thought of what they say about us. So to help myself and my sistas to save face,I have looked at a couple of things we can look at and most definetely switch up to make our men happier. With that said this is about what the ladies can do for you, this does'nt mean I'm not going to publish what you can do to make us happier yeah..
Ladies pay attention this is a public announcement:
I came accross the female Bible (Cosmopolitan) when I was very young,thanks mom, and my curious nature lead me to a topic about head, I remember the opening line and I would advice you to as well "it is not a borehole and you are not trying to draw water" that together with the illustration povided by my vivid imagination, was engraved in my mind. Notorious B.I.G says in one of his songs "if the head right Biggie there er'night" if that line alone is not motivation enough for you to perfect this and give it regurlarly then I dont know what will. Think of it as a microwave and sex as conventional stove cooking. Let's face it, sometimes you don't really feel like standing in front of a hot stove..
As much as we like to b*tch about men and what they don't do in bed, I shudder at the thought of what they say about us. So to help myself and my sistas to save face,I have looked at a couple of things we can look at and most definetely switch up to make our men happier. With that said this is about what the ladies can do for you, this does'nt mean I'm not going to publish what you can do to make us happier yeah..
Ladies pay attention this is a public announcement:
Talk dirty as you make
love
A lot of women, myself included are too embarrassed to talk dirty during sex don’t ask me why since my vocabulary consists of the dirtiest words known to man . So appearanytly most perverts, oops I meant men like it - a lot. If you tell him “na ngapha liyangena" when you're both enjoying sex, he's most likely to come there and then! So yes ladies not only women who get paid for pleasure must talk that talk.
A lot of women, myself included are too embarrassed to talk dirty during sex don’t ask me why since my vocabulary consists of the dirtiest words known to man . So appearanytly most perverts, oops I meant men like it - a lot. If you tell him “na ngapha liyangena" when you're both enjoying sex, he's most likely to come there and then! So yes ladies not only women who get paid for pleasure must talk that talk.
Do something different
It’s time to exile MISSIONARY yes I said it. That position should be reserved for 2 occasions, namely you’re deflowering (which most of you forgot anyway) and secondly, pity sex. It’s time to try something different *yawns*. Put the frozen chicken back in the freezer. If you usually have sex with him on top, roll over so you're doing it on your sides, facing each other. If you haven't tried woman on top, get up there and ride him. If he likes gate crashing or in other words the back entry then let him enter you from behind. In other words ladies live out your fantasies, we all have them.
It’s time to exile MISSIONARY yes I said it. That position should be reserved for 2 occasions, namely you’re deflowering (which most of you forgot anyway) and secondly, pity sex. It’s time to try something different *yawns*. Put the frozen chicken back in the freezer. If you usually have sex with him on top, roll over so you're doing it on your sides, facing each other. If you haven't tried woman on top, get up there and ride him. If he likes gate crashing or in other words the back entry then let him enter you from behind. In other words ladies live out your fantasies, we all have them.
Wake him up in the
night for sex
A woman can always seduce a man subtly if she puts her mind to it and we all know it, so put that knowledge to good use and stop being a prude. You know what happens if you press your “pakistan” up against him in the night while moving your hips around a little as you do this? Well I do.. He’ll soon be revving his little engine to go. Can you say Road Trip!?
A woman can always seduce a man subtly if she puts her mind to it and we all know it, so put that knowledge to good use and stop being a prude. You know what happens if you press your “pakistan” up against him in the night while moving your hips around a little as you do this? Well I do.. He’ll soon be revving his little engine to go. Can you say Road Trip!?
Know how to kiss
Yes, it's nice to enjoy gentle kissing, but he'll certainly appreciate a bit of full-on mouth work from you from time to time especially during the deed. I don’t know what it is about the damn tongue but play around with his while court is in session and lemme know.
Yes, it's nice to enjoy gentle kissing, but he'll certainly appreciate a bit of full-on mouth work from you from time to time especially during the deed. I don’t know what it is about the damn tongue but play around with his while court is in session and lemme know.
Explore his body
No hand jobs please, this is not about one part of his body it’s about everything. Even though that’s what they are ALL about there are not made up of just that one muscle *unfortunately* .Tickle him or give him a massage, yes even if he’s black, contrary to popular belief men also love being touched, so find the sensitive spots that drive his Indigenous ass crazy! A little tongue here and there together with the occasional nibbling will have a brother blurting out bank pins *triedandtested*.
No hand jobs please, this is not about one part of his body it’s about everything. Even though that’s what they are ALL about there are not made up of just that one muscle *unfortunately* .Tickle him or give him a massage, yes even if he’s black, contrary to popular belief men also love being touched, so find the sensitive spots that drive his Indigenous ass crazy! A little tongue here and there together with the occasional nibbling will have a brother blurting out bank pins *triedandtested*.
Discover his favourite
sexual positions
Take the time to find out what turns him on, and he'll show his gratitude both in and out of the bedroom! Discovering should be accompanied by effort. If he tells you what he likes why not try it out and let him be the man, take the lead and guide you? Trust he will be all too happy to do that.
Take the time to find out what turns him on, and he'll show his gratitude both in and out of the bedroom! Discovering should be accompanied by effort. If he tells you what he likes why not try it out and let him be the man, take the lead and guide you? Trust he will be all too happy to do that.
Undress in front of him
Yes, we know you're self-conscious about your body. But here's the good news – he likes it. He knows it intimately, he makes love to it, and he sees it as a thing of beauty; he doesn't look for the flaws in it, like you might be tempted to do. So he'll love watching you undress, and if you add a little innocent seduction into the process, he'll get turned on and show you how much he appreciates your body when you do make love
Yes, we know you're self-conscious about your body. But here's the good news – he likes it. He knows it intimately, he makes love to it, and he sees it as a thing of beauty; he doesn't look for the flaws in it, like you might be tempted to do. So he'll love watching you undress, and if you add a little innocent seduction into the process, he'll get turned on and show you how much he appreciates your body when you do make love
Play with his balls
Say Hello to my little friends. They need attention too. They should come with a “fragile” warning for those who don’t know how sensitive they are, so do handle with care. Here’s something you could do with Ping and Pong, try taking one at a time into your mouth and gently rolling it around. Operative word being gentle. For those who took my advanced class, TEA BAGGING is still the order of the day.
Learn how to give proper headSay Hello to my little friends. They need attention too. They should come with a “fragile” warning for those who don’t know how sensitive they are, so do handle with care. Here’s something you could do with Ping and Pong, try taking one at a time into your mouth and gently rolling it around. Operative word being gentle. For those who took my advanced class, TEA BAGGING is still the order of the day.
I came accross the female Bible (Cosmopolitan) when I was very young,thanks mom, and my curious nature lead me to a topic about head, I remember the opening line and I would advice you to as well "it is not a borehole and you are not trying to draw water" that together with the illustration povided by my vivid imagination, was engraved in my mind. Notorious B.I.G says in one of his songs "if the head right Biggie there er'night" if that line alone is not motivation enough for you to perfect this and give it regurlarly then I dont know what will. Think of it as a microwave and sex as conventional stove cooking. Let's face it, sometimes you don't really feel like standing in front of a hot stove..
Monday, 20 August 2012
Our Greatest Fear
it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
Friday, 17 August 2012
Lip service
Ever found yourself tongue tied with someone? No I mean this in a literal sense. You find yourself with your eyes wide open thinking WHO THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN KISSING, CUMMON YOU ARE 28!!!! I once came across a guy who I was convinced was giving me a tonsillectomy, brother had his tongue so far down my throat like wassup? Scary part he had two kids, there I was thinking how the hell did you make them? How did you even get to third base?
Kissing is not tongue wrestling. It's an intimate show of affection. Some brothers really need to school themselves on the art of kissing, I get it might have come with the white man but we enjoy it so mind kicking it up a notch? But lemme stop complaining and give the guys 5 out of 10 for effort. I'm pretty sure our kissing game is way better than our grandparents or our folks.
Fact: If you are kissing a girl and she has her eyes wide open.. well I'm sorry to break it to you but you need to go back to the drawing board and school the crap out of yourself. You just aint cutting it my man sorry. If it's good you will have her with her eyes shut and if you are excellent you will have a sista moaning ready to climax. I don't think I have to delve into how to kiss a guy cause lets face it yal would not be bothered about that, you are all about getting it in, you are more intersted in the other set of lips.
But always remeber this..
BEFORE YOU KISS A GIRL:
-Grab her waist
- Pull her close to your body
- Look into her eyes
-Look at her lips while biting yours
-Look back at her eyes again
Grab her face gently
Then SLOWLY lean in and kiss her..
Kissing is not tongue wrestling. It's an intimate show of affection. Some brothers really need to school themselves on the art of kissing, I get it might have come with the white man but we enjoy it so mind kicking it up a notch? But lemme stop complaining and give the guys 5 out of 10 for effort. I'm pretty sure our kissing game is way better than our grandparents or our folks.
Fact: If you are kissing a girl and she has her eyes wide open.. well I'm sorry to break it to you but you need to go back to the drawing board and school the crap out of yourself. You just aint cutting it my man sorry. If it's good you will have her with her eyes shut and if you are excellent you will have a sista moaning ready to climax. I don't think I have to delve into how to kiss a guy cause lets face it yal would not be bothered about that, you are all about getting it in, you are more intersted in the other set of lips.
But always remeber this..
BEFORE YOU KISS A GIRL:
-Grab her waist
- Pull her close to your body
- Look into her eyes
-Look at her lips while biting yours
-Look back at her eyes again
Grab her face gently
Then SLOWLY lean in and kiss her..
Thursday, 16 August 2012
10 Things Men should not say during sex..
1. Can we turn off the lights?
2. Am I your first?
3. Have you had a wash...
4. Take it! Take it! *speakingfromexperience*
5. I have to get back to work after this
6. Where is your hole?
7.Hold on to my feet I`m going in
6. Where is your hole?
7.Hold on to my feet I`m going in
8. Is that smell you
9. I`m coming (2 minute noodles)
10. Who is your daddy?
9. I`m coming (2 minute noodles)
10. Who is your daddy?
10 Things Women should not say during sex..
1. Are you in yet?
2.
Oh Thabo ( when your partners name is
Musa)
3.
The ceiling needs painting...
4.
There's a spider on the ceiling"
5. Pass that magazine will you?
6. And its a GOAAAAAL!!!
7. Did you put the garbage out?
8. Is that all?
5. Pass that magazine will you?
6. And its a GOAAAAAL!!!
7. Did you put the garbage out?
8. Is that all?
9. Have you ever considered Viagra?
10. Last but not least Wake me up when you're done *yawns*
10. Last but not least Wake me up when you're done *yawns*
Monday, 13 August 2012
Cake Boss
Cake
Boss.
Relationships
are like cake. Be it tiered, creamed or
sponge. They come in an assortment of flavours
to cater or suite different palates. Some
love chocolate and some like vanilla. I dabbled in household management in High
School, better known as Home Economics and I was taught the importance of the
right ingredients and most importantly the right quantities. “You have to
measure correctly in order to get the best results” I was taught.
The top five
baking ingredients for making a cake are flour, sugar, eggs, butter, leaveners (something
that helps a baked item to rise). These are necessary to ensure that your cake
is not a complete flop. I’ve been baking cakes for a long time now my favourite
being death by chocolate of course *licks lips*, and I can tell you I have left
out some of these ingredients and that has resulted in disaster more than once.
So I decided to use what little culinary skills I possess to help myself and
those I know to rival Buddy Valastro the acclaimed Cake Boss and create a masterpiece
that put his to shame.
Like any
good recipe we require ingredients, hope you have a pen and paper ready, LET’S
BAKE!
We will
need the following:
1.
Flour_
Communication
2.
Sugar_
Respect
3.
Eggs_
Reciprocity
4.
Butter_
Realistic expectations
5.
Baking
Powder_ Intimacy
The
flour represents communication which is a vital component in any healthy relationship
because it provides the structure and body like in a cake. Communication forms
the basis of any good structure and without it the other ingredients will be of
no use because an unstable structure will collapse eventually. A solid foundation is means being able to
discuss, in a calm tone, from the beginning the things you both want and don’t want
and understanding each other without blowing up in each other’s faces.
The
sugar is a sweetener which in baking maintains a complex role in baked goods
because it contributes texture. This represents respect which is the core of
any good relationship. A man and woman who have respect for themselves will
respect each other. Respect is indicated in behaviour, how a person treats or
rather handle themselves and secondly in speech, that can be seen in the way a
person speaks to you or most importantly what they say about you when you are
not around.
The
eggs acts as the binding agents in any recipe, in other words they hold all the
ingredients together and this is reciprocity. Reciprocity or cooperation in a
healthy romantic relationship means give and take. This means a partnership
based on compromise, letting the other partner win from time to time if that
means making the other person happy. This entails unselfishness and not always
wanting to be right but submitting to making someone’s happiness a priority. It’s
better to lose an argument than to lose someone to one.
Oh,
butter! In baking butter adds flavour and can help keep foods fresher for
longer this is true with realistic expectations. Realistic expectations means understanding you
are both imperfect and that things will not always be sunshine and roses. This
means being open and honest with each other, laying all your cards on the table
so to say about the things you do expect and NO ladies men cannot read minds.
If you are expecting something darling breathe and let it out.
Last
but not least my favourite, baking powder which you guessed right is INTIMACY….*sweats* Baking Powder like any good dose of intimacy
reacts with the other ingredients and produces bubbles that cause the mixture
to RISE *sweatsprofusely*. They
say intimacy is not about sex but it is being comfortable enough with each to
share each other. Well we all know we can only truly share each other in the
nude, the rest don’t count. So Ms_Curvy means trusting each other and baring it
all with no reservations, except protection of course lol.
Bon
Appetit
Compliments
to the chef..
Ms_Curvy
The truth about Barbie.
Expectations.
This story
begins with the toys of a little girl which will eventually shape by the world
she is expected to know. A world consumed by an imagination fuelled by fairy
tales and happy ever afters. This tale
of attachment begins when a little girl realises her Barbie needs Ken. She
already has a car, house, dog but she already knows at that tender age that,
the life she has created for "herself" is incomplete without a Ken. who in actuality belongs to her, because you see the doll is in her world, her.
Next time men
want to complain about women not being able to differentiate between physical
and emotional just remember, when you were shooting everyone with your toy guns,
we were pushing prams and putting our babies to sleep. Just remember that when
you were taking your new BMX bikes for a spin, we were simulating cooking on
our toy stoves and dishing up for you and anticipating your return. I’m just saying
next time you don’t understand why a woman expects more remember that when we were
playing house and all you were interested in was air humping every girl in your
street, she was calculating and assigning the family structure.
It’s not so hard
to understand, women will always expect more. It’s what society prescribes to
us. We are victims of circumstance. To be clear, friends with benefits are an
urban legend, spread by immature pricks and supported by spineless tramps.
Females are emotional beings, how else do you explain the elation a 5 year old
gets when she receives a doll that cries and crawls like a baby when she
herself is still a baby? We are just feelings. Don’t believe me? You will be a
father soon, look at the twinkle in your babies eyes when you buy her a baby.
I was having a
conversation with my friend the other day about this idea that men seem to
think they will miraculously meet some woman who will stomach all their
bullshit with a smile on her face?
Hahahahahaha talk about being mentally stunted. I’m here to burst that
little bubble and let you know once and for all that she does not exist. She’s
a myth. Men honestly if you don’t want any feelings involved then go fuck a
dude! You have done so many women and
they have all acted the same, duh they are women. Please and somebody tell me
why you think another one could possibly be different when you’ve done the same
experiment and yielded the same results every time? That is called madness.
I repeat if you
don’t want emotions GO SLEEP WITH A MAN!! Wouldn’t that be ideal though, you
can do it with as many as you want including your friends and there will be no
feelings whatsoever? You are wired the same at the end of the day isn’t it? If you don’t want our emotion, then leave our
physical the HELL ALONE!
Regards
Ms_Curvy
Thursday, 9 August 2012
A poem to black women
To my sisters, this is a reminder of what makes us beautiful. To
my brothers, this is a reminder that your love of us isn't futile, it's been
earned... and then some Author Unknown
WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? IS IT A DISEASE? WELL, IF IT IS,I SURE HOPE IT'S CATCHING BECAUSE THEY NEED TO POUR IT INTO A BOTTLE, LABEL IT, AND SPRINKLE IT ALL OVER THE PEOPLE~ MEN AND WOMEN~WHO EVER LOVED OR CRIED, WORKED OR DIED FOR ANY ONE OF US. SO...WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? IS IT A CRIME? ARREST ME! BECAUSE I'M STRONG, BUT I'M GENTLE. I'M SMART,BUT I'M LEARNING, I'M LOVING, BUT I'M HATEFUL. AND I LIKE TO WORK BECAUSE I LIKE TO EAT AND FEED AND CLOTHE AND HOUSE ME, MINE, AND YOURS AND EVERYBODYS, LIKE I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST 300 YEARS. WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? IS IT INSANE? COMMITT ME! BECAUSE I WANT THE HAPPINESS, NOT TEARS; TRUTHS, NOT LIES; PLEASURE NOT PAIN; SUNSHINE, NOT RAIN; A MAN, NOT A CHILD! WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? IS IT A SIN? PRAY FOR ME! AND PRAY FOR YOU TOO, IF YOU DON'T LIKE WOMEN OF COLOR BECAUSE WE ARE... MIDNIGHT BLACK, CHESTNUT BROWN, HONEY BRONZED, CHOCOLATE COVERED, COCOA DIPPED, BIGGED LIPPED, BIG HIPPED, BIG BREASTED, AND BEAUTIFUL ALL AT THE SAME TIME! SO...WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? DOES IT BOTHER YOU THAT MUCH BECAUSE I WANT A MAN WHO WANTS ME...LOVES ME AND TRUSTS ME, AND RESPECTS ME AND GIVES ME EVERYTHING BECAUSE I GIVE HIM EVERYTHING BACK, PLUS! WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? I'VE GOT RIGHTS, SAME AS YOU! I HAVE WORKED FOR THEM, DIED FOR THEM, LIED FOR THEM, PLAYED AND LAID FOR THEM, ON EVERY PLANTATION FROM ALABAMA TO BOSTON AND BACK! WHAT IF I AM A BLACK WOMAN? I LOVE ME, AND I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME TOO, BUT I AM, AS I'VE ALWAYS BEEN, NEAR YOU, CLOSE TO YOU, BESIDE YOU, STRONG, GIVING, LOVING, FOR OVER 300 YEARS, YOUR BLACK WOMAN... LOVE ME! |
Rock
"The phrase 'wathint' abafazi, wathint' imbokodo' (You Strike a Woman, You Strike a Rock) has come to represent the courage and strength of South African women."
FEDSAW
Federation of South African Women (FEDSAW)
The Federation of South African Women (FEDSAW or FSAW) was launched on 17 April 1954 in Johannesburg as the first attempt to establish a broad-based women’s organisation. This was the brainchild of Ray Simons who drew in others such as Helen Joseph, Lillian Ngoyi and Amina Cachalia who formed the steering committee for the organisation. One hundred and forty-six delegates, representing 230,000 women from all parts of South Africa, attended the founding conference and pledged their support for the general campaigns of the Congress Alliance. Among the African leaders of the Federation, a large number were trade unionists, primarily from the clothing, textile, and food and canning industries. Some were teachers and nurses, members of the small African professional class. Since fewer than one per cent of African working women were engaged in production work in the 1950s, the trade unionists, like the nurses and teachers, represented but a fraction of all adult African women. The involvement of the trade unionists proved to be critical, however. They contributed invaluable organisational skills and mobilising techniques to the women`s struggle.
Although the Federation of South African Women included some individual members, it was primarily composed of affiliated women`s groups, African, Indian, "Coloured" and white political organisations, and trade unions. According to its constitution, the objectives of the Federation were to bring the women of South Africa together to secure full equality of opportunity for all women, regardless of race, colour or creed; to remove social and legal and economic disabilities; to work for the protection of the women and children.
The "Women`s Charter", written at the first conference, called for the enfranchisement of men and women of all races; equality of opportunity in employment; equal pay for equal work; equal rights in relation to property, marriage and children; and the removal of all laws and customs that denied women such equality. The Charter further demanded paid maternity leave, childcare for working mothers, and free and compulsory education for all South African children.
Although the Federation acknowledged that the primary task at hand was the struggle for national liberation, it warned that the struggle would not be won without the full participation of women. Applying a distorted version of "tribal" law, which had governed pre-industrial African society, South African courts continued to regard African women as perpetual minors under the permanent tutelage of their male guardians. Women`s property rights were severely limited and control over their own earnings minimal. The authors of the "Women`s Charter" did not hesitate to deal with these issues. According to the Charter, laws governing African marriage and property relations which had "lagged behind the development of society no longer correspond to the actual social and economic position of women". As a result, "the law has become an obstacle to the progress of the women, and therefore, a brake on the whole of society". The blame for "this intolerable condition" rested in part with "a large section of our menfolk" who refuse "to concede to us women the rights and privileges which they demand for themselves". The Charter concluded that women shall teach the men that they cannot hope to liberate themselves from the evils of discrimination and prejudice as long as they fail to extend to women complete and unqualified equality in law and practice. Further, it stated that freedom cannot be won for any one section or for the people as a whole as long as women are kept in bondage. The demands laid out in the "Women`s Charter" were ultimately incorporated into the "Freedom Charter", adopted by the Congress of the People in Kliptown on June 25-26, 1955.
A major task of the Federation in succeeding years was the organisation of massive protests against the extension of pass laws to women. Together with the ANC Women`s League, the Federation organised scores of demonstrations outside Government offices in towns and cities around the country. The first national protest took place on October 27, 1955, when 2,000 women of all races marched on the Union Buildings in Pretoria, planning to meet with the Cabinet ministers responsible for the administration of apartheid laws. Ida Mntwana led the march and the marchers were mainly African women form the Johannesburg region. The Minister of Native Affairs, Dr. Verwoerd, under whose jurisdiction the pass laws fell, pointedly refused to receive a multiracial delegation. On August 9, 1956, 20,000 women from all parts of South Africa staged a second march on the Union Buildings. Prime Minister Strijdom, who had been notified of the women`s mission, was not there to receive them. This gathering of women was unprecedented in attracting one of the largest crowds ever to gather at the Union Buildings. The success of the demonstration challenged the stereotypes about women and their lack of political drive. Further, it enhanced the prestige of FEDSAW within the Congress Alliance and as a result, 9 August was declared Women’s Day to commemorate the achievement. The day is still celebrated as such at present and has also been declared a public holiday.
In December 1956, 156 leaders of the Congress Alliance were rounded up and detained, this led to the Treason Trial that went on for four and a half years. During the Treason Trial, FEDSAW women organised support for the treason trialists and their families. However, the organisation suffered along with the Alliance as women such as Lillian Ngoyi, Helen Joseph, Annie Silinga and Francis Baard were detained for plotting to overthrow the government.
Names: Simons, Ray Alexander
Born: 12 January 1913, Latvia
Died: 12 September 2004
In summary: Secretary of the South African Communist Party and Trade Union stalwart, General Secretary of the Food and Canning Workers Uninon, founding member of the Federation of South African Women (FEDSAW), author, recipient of the ANC's Isithwalandwe Award
Born: 12 January 1913, Latvia
Died: 12 September 2004
In summary: Secretary of the South African Communist Party and Trade Union stalwart, General Secretary of the Food and Canning Workers Uninon, founding member of the Federation of South African Women (FEDSAW), author, recipient of the ANC's Isithwalandwe Award
Ray Alexander Simons née Alexandrowich was born on 12 January 1913 in Latvia. While at school, she displayed little fear in challenging authorities. Her independent thinking suggested she pursue a career in medicine but she soon took up politics. When she was about 13, she became active in the underground Latvian Communist Party.
She arrived in South Africa on 6 November 1929, and began to organise Black workers unions. Five days later, on 11 November 1929, after meeting Cissie Gool and lifelong friend John Gomas, she joined the Communist Party of South Africa (CPSA), aged 16.
In the same year, she lost her first job when she took part in an anti-pass campaign. She was involved with all facets of the Party's work, and after being dismissed from a job for attending the founding conference of the Anti-Fascist League, she became increasingly involved in trade union activity.
Alexander Simons was the Secretary of the Communist Party in 1934 and 1935, and recruited many women into the organisation. She helped organise workers in many different trades, but the union which became synonymous with her name was the Food and Canning Workers Union (FCWU). Founded in 1941, the FCWU spread through the fruit canning industry of the Boland and up the west coast among fishing communities.
The FCWU recruited Black and White workers, men and women, and earned the reputation of being both effective and militant. In the 1950s, it played a leading role in the South African Congress of Trade Unions (SACTU). She also wrote a regular column on trade union matters in The Guardian, a newspaper affiliated to the CPSA.
In September 1953, she was served with banning orders. It was issued by Justice Minister Swart, and this forced her to resign as general secretary of the FCWU.
In April 1954, together with Helen Joseph, Lilian Ngoyi and Florence Mkhize, she helped found the Federation of South African Women (FEDSAW), which fought for women's rights and participated in drafting the pioneering Women's Charter.
Her FCWU banning precluded her attending the 1956 Women's March to the Union Buildings, but she was involved in its organisation and recruited about 175 women from Cape Town. After another banning order in April 1954, she was forced to resign from FEDSAW.
Alexander Simons married Eli Weinberg in 1937, but they separated and she later married Professor Jack Simons, a devoted communist and a lecturer in African Studies, in 1941.
On 6 May 1965 Alexander Simons and her husband left South Africa for Zambia. From Zambia they went to England, where he obtained a lecturing post at Manchester University. Together they wrote the classic labour history Class and Colour in South Africa: 1850 - 1950, a pioneering analysis of the relationship between class and race, and how these shaped the South African political and social landscape.
They returned to Lusaka in 1967, and were the first Whites to be accepted into the African National Congress (ANC). During this time, her husband lectured in the bush camps in Angola and Alexander Simons continued to do underground work.
In 1990, she attended the Malibongwe conference in Holland, which was a follow up to the 1984 women's conference. Alexander Simons and her husband then returned to South Africa in 1990.
After her return, Alexander Simons advised various trade unions, as well as the ANC and SACP, and worked on a book on her involvement in the FCWU. Her husband passed away in 1995.
Today, Ray Alexander Simons remains honoured for her contributions to organisations like the Communist Party, ANC and FEDSAW, Unions, SWAPO and the New Women's Movement. In 2004, the ANC's National Executive Committee bestowed the ANC's highest honour of Isithwalandwe on this liberation movement stalwart.
She is the third woman to receive this award, and some of the previous 18 recipients are Chief Albert Luthuli, Father Trevor Huddleston and Yusuf Dadoo in 1955, Lilian Ngoyi in 1982, Nelson Mandela and Helen Joseph in 1992. Literally translated, Isithwalandwe means "the one who wears the plumes of the rare bird".
Ray Alexander Simons died on 12 September 2004, at the age of 91.
References
- Unpublished biography document from the Institute for Justice and Reconciliation.
Tuesday, 7 August 2012
Who do you think you are?
Lemme tell you exactly who the hell Iam, not think but know. I’m a woman. That means
I’m automatically born strong. Strength resides within me and there is no man
alive who can take that away from me, shake it maybe but not take it. Every
step I take I take with pride it’s a confirmation of my presence in this world.
I strut unapologetically for I know I am here for a reason.
I know what I want and most importantly what I
don’t want, no compromises here ladies and gentlemen. Settle? that word does not exist in my vocabulary. I'm informed enough to know exactly what I want. I have since I’ve been me,
forged my own identity and wear it as a badge for all to see with no excuses. I
always strive to be different and leave an impression wherever I go, whether it be good or bad, the bad not
being my intention of course but you know what they say…different strokes for
different folks. I have and always will be the poster child of individuality. I
never conform to people or relationships or let other’s dictate to me how and
who I should be. I do me and I do it best.
I can never be anything
else either than me that would be the greatest injustice. I had a fiery
exchange of words with some boy who in my opinion knows too much for his own
good. It prompted him to ask me this fatal question which I have always given
and never received “who do you think you are?” There was absolutely no pause
because you see I know exactly who the fuck I iz and I was not taken aback by
his attempt to unnerve me or question myself, cause you see I have all the
answers regarding this person I carry every day in this body, she is me and I
her. I have existed for 25 years and through those years I have established my
own identity and I absolutely love it and everything I stand for. I stand for
the truth, shit I am the damn truth. I am a beautiful, funny, wise, and intelligent,
wired, in-tune, strong willed, opinionated... the list is endless trust me but the one
thing I am that carries more weight than me is that I’m a mother. The thing that makes me more valuable.
I could go on and on about
me but the point of this exercise is in a way to challenge those who have lost
themselves or haven’t discovered exactly who they are to start looking now. No
one should ever tell you who you are and NO ONE should ever ask you who you are
and not get a damn response. You should never find yourself in a position where
you should think about it. Self-love and self-acceptance are the order of the
day after saying your prayers of course. I’m all about being happy with you
first and letting the rest follow. But how can you be happy with something you
don’t even know? Get to know yourself
first a little introspection never hurt anyone. If you stand for nothing you
will fall for anything.
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
Fragmented.
Maybe sometimes they’ve never been loved before, or
they’ve never been in love before..or maybe they don’t know the feeling of
being loved.. These words are not my own,
but they struck a cord and moved me to inspect them more closely. I heard this
on one of my free therapy sessions courtesy of the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
album.
Jaded is what most people if not all of us are. Worn
out and weary from the hunt of acceptance and a true sense of belonging. A
belonging whether it is to a group or the ultimate, an individual. In this
relentless pursuit to find someone to make us whole we are chipping pieces of
ourselves away, fragments in time. “What
a man desires is unfailing love.” Proverbs 19:22. We are all plagued by fear, whether
it could be fear of failure, the unknown, disappointment, hurt, rejection, death , misery, loneliness and ridicule. But
beneath it all the biggest fear is the fear of not being loved. 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But
perfect love drives out fear.”
Love emanates and is borne in all of us. It begins
with you. You have to love yourself first before you can love anybody else. This
statement is broad enough and includes your parents. A child who does not care
about his or her parents does not care for themselves. If you have no love for yourself, or the people
who are responsible for your existence then how are you possibly going to have
any love for anybody else? Charity begins at home and love in my humblest
opinion is the biggest act of charity one can give freely to another.
If you don’t have love for yourself how can you ever
try to love somebody else? There is a fine line between loving yourself and
being in love with yourself let’s not get it twisted. I do not propagate
conceit but what I do advocate is understanding the choice you have to give
what is in you freely, first to yourself and secondly to another. It’s sad to
think some people contrary to popular and their own beliefs don’t truly know
what it feels like to be loved. Loved by anybody, most of all themselves.
Self -loathing is the sickness that feeds on the
hearts of the young it cages, because they are not enlightened as to the gifts
they carry, they are imprisoned by self -doubt. These gifts are released when you just allow
yourself to feel what you are too scared to feel. Free, love. Free it, it’s free, love.
Whichever way you want to put it, it just has to be free. It’s a freedom which
everyone is entitled to, a freedom that unlocks all the unexplainable smiles,
giggles and butterflies. Freedom is
guaranteed a choice. A choice to enjoy that freedom. Let freedom reign in your life. No
confinements by uncertainty, lift the
ban on happiness in your life that’s what I’m suggesting today.
Stop looking for love and approval from other
people. Granted peoples praises will
offer you an escape for a while, but when it’s all said and done, it’s just you and your biggest enemy,
yourself. It’s time to make peace. The
different hoes that stain your sheets every night or the assortment of thieves
of the night that steal pieces of your dignity every night, will not substitute what you are trying to
supress, and that is the insatiable urge of security and the warmth provided by
the sense of belonging somewhere.
Regards
Ms_Curvy
Sunday, 5 August 2012
Sophia Williams de Bruyn
Names: Williams de Bruyn, Sophia Theresa
Born: 1938, Villageboard, Port Elizabeth
In summary: Executive member of the Textile Workers Union in Port Elizabeth, founder member of the South African Congress of Trade Union (SACTU), full-time organiser of the Coloured People’s Congress in Johannesburg, a leader of the 1956 women's march, a human resources manager and a commissioner at the Commission for Gender Equality, member of the National Executive Committee of the ANC Women’s League and is a member of the Saartjie Baartman Reference Group
Born: 1938, Villageboard, Port Elizabeth
In summary: Executive member of the Textile Workers Union in Port Elizabeth, founder member of the South African Congress of Trade Union (SACTU), full-time organiser of the Coloured People’s Congress in Johannesburg, a leader of the 1956 women's march, a human resources manager and a commissioner at the Commission for Gender Equality, member of the National Executive Committee of the ANC Women’s League and is a member of the Saartjie Baartman Reference Group
Sophia Theresa Williams-de Bruyn was born in 1938, in Villageboard, a mixed area that had different nationalities living side by side. She was raised in the home of her grandparents with her older brother and sister. When her grandparents died, her father, Henry Ernest Williams bought property at number 17 Thumbler Street, in Villageboard with his older brother. She started primary schooling in the Villageboard and went on to attend the Saint Patrick Catholic School in the North-end Port Elizabeth. When her father joined the army to fight in World War II, Sophia’s mother Frances Elizabeth moved out of the family house with the children to a new housing development, specifically built for ‘Coloured people’ called Schauder. Sophia attended the local Saint James Catholic School, where she continued with her primary education.
During her higher primary education, Sophia started working during the school vacations so she could have pocket money when school terms started. As she was doing this almost every school term, the workers at Van Lane Textile factory singled her out to solve their problems with factory bosses.
She later became Shop steward, and increased her involvement in representing and articulating the grievances of the workers. She continued working in the factory and never returned to school. At the Textile factory she rose to become an executive member of the Textile Workers Union in Port Elizabeth working alongside people like Raymond Mhlaba, the late Vuyisile Mini, Govan Mbeki and others.
She became the founder member of the South African Congress of Trade Union (SACTU), which is the predecessor of the Congress of South African Trade Union (COSATU). Her trade union work interacted with mainstream political movements of the day, such as the ANC. The Congress alliance (Indian Congress and the ANC) at the time was grappling with issues such as the Group Areas Act, Separate Development Act and the Bantu Education Act. It was then that the ‘Coloured People Congress’ was formed.
In 1955 Sophia was appointed as a full-time organiser of the ‘Coloured People’s Congress’ in Johannesburg. The African National Congress and the Transvaal Indian Congress had offices in the basement of the Market Theater and they gave the Coloured People Congress office space in the same basement.
When the Coloured Population Act was put forward, Sophia was assigned by the Congress to work with the lawyer Shulamuth Muller, an attorney whose husband, Mike Muller, was secretary-general of the Textile Workers Union and was already banned. Together they helped to organize the women around pass issues with women such as Helen Joseph, Lillian Ngoyi and Rahima Moosa. At the same time Sophia was at the forefront of the Congress Of the People in Kliptown. She led the Women’s March to the Union Buildings in 1956 and is the only surviving leader of the historical event. She currently serves as a human resources manager and a commissioner at the Commission for Gender Equality. She is a member of the National Executive Committee of the ANC Women’s League and is a member of the Saartjie Baartman Reference Group.
References
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