Friday, 31 December 2021

Xolile Ngwenya Attorneys

WHO IS XOLILE NGWENYA? 

 Xolile Ngwenya is a God fearing woman who is driven by her goals and ambitions to succeed in everything that she puts her mind to. 

I was born in Baragwanath hospital, Diepkloof Soweto in 1987. According to family reports, my mother almost died during a very difficult child birth until the Doctor made the decision to perform an emergency C-section.

I grew up in Meadowlands, Soweto and started my schooling there at Thembalethu L. P School, which was a stone throw away from my grandparents house. When i was promoted to Grade 4, my father who was from Nelspruit, came to fetch me because he had just graduated from University and wanted to give me a better life.


MIGRATION 

All we know about migration is that birds fly south for the winter. We don't know what really happens in the South or what they go through.

My move to Mpumalanga was extremely hard, in retrospect it is where i learned that " be your own super hero, no one is coming to save you". I went from walking to school with my friends, to waking up at ungodly hours to catch a bus to school with a lot of strange children who I could not relate to. School was Nelspruit Primary School and it was a nightmare in the beginning. It was a school in town with white children, white teachers and an all white administration. Back in my hood we dreamed of going to such schools but the reality of adapting was somethingI had to face on my own. 

MIND YOUR ENGLISH   

Children with the same skin colour as me were only speaking English in the bus. They were rolling their tongues as if their lives depended on it. I kept to myself a lot the first couple of months and observed, I took in all the different accents and pronunciations. 

Although I obtained first position consistently in my previous school, which is the reason my father saw it fit for me to go to a "better school", the teachers in the better school doubted my capabilites and probably misread my shyness.  


I went through the introduction to their English books with ease and steadily progressed through to the last book. 

I remember reading one of the advanced books to my father at home and I have been trying to capture the pride on his face ever since that day. 

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE 

Growing up no one ever asked how I was doing, whether I was adapting, had friends or how my new environment was. I was no longer in one of the most dangerous neighborhoods, so I had to be grateful and get over it. 

My darling mother stayed behind and I had to adjust all by myself. That is a story for another day. Even though my father held it down at the home front as a single father, by nurturing and catering to all of my needs, I still missed what I knew as home. 

 A not so receptive welcome at school meant that I lashed out and started misbehaving. Academically I was doing well but my behavior sucked. I missed my mom and the place I had known as home since I was born. But who could I tell. 



 "A child that is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." - African Proverb

 


 HIGH SCHOOL DAZE 

Age 14 to 18 was a learning curve. I made friends for life, we found each other when we were all looking for something but just didn't know what. 

My friends became my sisters and source of support during my transition into adulthood, we formed an unshakable bond and we have been in each other's lives during the highs and the lows. 

 I couldn't have achieved half of what I have if it wasn't for their support and encouragement. It is true that good friends are worth their worth in gold. Even penning this down I would be doing an injustice if I did not mention the candles they shone during some of the darkest times of my life. 






ROAD TO GRADUATION 


There is someone out there who feels worthless because they are struggling to complete their studies on record time. If it is any consolation, it took me 7 years to complete a 4 year degree. 

Life i learned is a lot like traveling to any destination, theres a road that takes you there in 2 hours, another might take you there in 5 hours, another road might take you 10 hours to get there but if you are willing to take the trip you will reach it. 

I felt despondent and thought I would never graduate once upon a time. I remember Kabelo and I would question our efforts to wear graduation gowns out loud. It often felt unattainable. Here I am, an eloquent speaker, could read and interpret texts but I just couldn't find my feet. 

I lied to myself and blamed everything and everyone for my failures. I refused to face the fact that I was the one who was standing in between me and attaining my goals. 

It wasn't until I applied to attend the University of Limpopo, that I came to grips with myself and the fact that I was a liar. My parents had given me my last chance and I made a promise to myself not to repeat any modules or write any supplementary exams. I did it! I was graduating. I had finally found my truth and was living it, my truth was what I was taught from an early age and that is, anything worth having is difficult to get and you have to work your ass off for it. My only regret was not doing it sooner for my grandmother to witness it. 

INTERNSHIP

Like most of the youth in South Africa I did my stint as an intern. I applied for an internship at the Mpumalanga Provincial Legislature and got the job. 

I like most hopefuls wished I could be absorbed as a permanent employee. I worked to the best of my ability and filled those dreadful Z83 forms relentlessly.  I was never absorbed, story for another day, but I wasn't bitter I took it all in my stride. Truth was, I would keep hitting the ceiling anyway had I stayed, after all I only had a LLB degree, no articles nor was I admitted. 

A dream deferred is not a dream denied. After the contract expired, I had made friends with one of my mentors, Ms Phumla Sibiya, who was an admitted attorney and working for the Mpumalanga Provincial Legislature. 

She was so confident and excellent at her job, and would consistently tell me what a great attorney she thought I would be and that I was short changing myself by not pursuing articles of clerkship.  I was convinced I was not interested, but looking back that was fear. 




UNEMPLOYMENT IS A STATE OF MIND 

After my contract expired I was doing everything I could to make some money. I started Ms_Curvy Creations and was baking biscuits and sewing clothes. 

I at one point organized and hosted an event called Phenomenal Woman, story for another day. One day while baking, I got a call from my mentor telling me that I should rush to her old Principals office as there was a vacancy for a candidate attorney. I woke up at the Crack of dawn and was at Nomaswazi Shabangu Attorneys offices at 8:00 am. My soon to be Principal arrived much later but hired me on the spot. 

I had no idea what being a candidate attorney entailed, all I knew was there was a possibility that I could see that glimmer in my father's eyes again and finally become an admitted attorney.  

The contract was for 2 years because I had no law school but I was so eager to explore the opportunity to become an attorney.  It did not matter how little the pay cheque was. 

My Principal is a feminist and was amazing. She put me under her wing and exposed me to as much as she could. I never stayed behind, i wanted to drink as much as I could from her pool of wisdom. I was in awe of her humble beginnings and how much she had accomplished. Little did I know, a seed was planted and it was growing. 

I turned down a magazine feature one time because I felt like I was not where I wanted to be. "I am doing my articles" didn't sound that good for a feature to me. I wanted to be accomplished and have something to sell. I wanted to be a a brand, not just a pretty face with a fancy degree... Bleh. 

MOTHER HEN 

I was already a mother to two beautiful children, a son and a daughter. I had so much riding on me finishing my articles and passing my board exams. 

As a single parent it was harder, but my supportive family alleviated the work load. From work, I had to come home to two excited children, wait for them to go to sleep and then afterwards hit the books. To say it was hard is an understament. But I had made up my mind and had run out of excuses. 

God had placed me under Nomaswazi's wing and winning was the only option. 

I fell off the radar, sacrificed going out and abondened my youth for my books, best decision I have ever made. 

The more I read, the clearer the picture got and the more confident I got. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. The money was uninspiring but that didn't phase me, I was going to get admitted even if it was the last thing I did. 

My girl pal Valerie Silinda told me "starve your distractions and concentrate on the end goal and that is passing all your board exams", I listened.  

My last oral examination was in Pretoria, I remember I decided to go uo with my children as I had a feeling that was the last time I was attending any board exam. I hit the books hard and after the 3rd question I was told to buy a bottle of champagne as I bagged my last exam!!!!!.  I called my mom and she screamed so loud I almost went deaf. I called my dad and he did not understand what I was saying, until I repeated I am done Papa, I am getting admitted as an attorney of the High Court. 

XOLILE NGWENYA ATTORNEYS 



I got admitted as an attorney of the High Court, in the new Mpumalanga Division of the High Court, Mbombela main seat just like I had manifested. I even thought that maybe my journey got delayed by the construction of the actual building.  

Considering the length of the journey and how long it took for me to get there, we didn't have a celebration, we just couldn't wait to get it over and done with. It was a bit underwhelming considering how far I had come to get to that point of standing up and raising my right hand. I was and still am grateful nonetheless. 

My time at NSA like all good things had come to an end. I consciously left in order to make room for another aspiring young attorney. As much as we preach the need to occupy the space, it is also incumbent on us to create the space that needs to be occupied. This tendency of hoarding positions and posts stagnates us as a people. 


It was extremely difficult to find a job. I found myself in the same place i had been when I was an intern at the Mpumalanga Provincial Legislature. At that time every position I was interested in applying for, wanted an admitted attorney. Now I was an admitted attorney, every position wanted 3 to 5 years post admission experience. 


I had an idea of starting my own law firm. I had no idea what to do or where to start so I called up the Legal Practice Council. They were so helpful with information and soon I was registered with CIPC. Afterwards I did what all smart business people must do, I called up Mr Mfundo Vincent Nyambi and asked him to please help me by designing a logo for the law firm. As to be expected, he did not dissapoint. I strongly recommend him FYI. 


The doors of Xolile Ngwenya Attorneys were opened amidst the Covid - 19 pandemic. We hit the ground running and have never looked back ever since. 
Our motto is simple "your success, our commitment".  It brings a smile to our faces to assist clients and watch them leave our offices with a more confident posture than when they walked in. I guess its true, you don't feel like you are working if you are doing something that you love and I love what I do. 

SERVICES WE OFFER 

Our office offers assists clients with the following:
  • Civil Litigation 
  • Bail Applications 
  • RAF Claims
  • Divorce 
  • Administration of deceased estates 
  • Estate Planning 
  • Trust Registrations
  • Property transfers and Registrations
  • Company registration and Deregistration
  • Debt Collection 
  • Drawing up & Vetting of Contracts
  • Labour Disputes, Disciplinary Hearings and CCMA matters. 
CONTACT US IF YOU NEED LEGAL ASSISTANCE 



Xolile Ngwenya Attorneys is NOT a non-profit organization. In order to get legal assistance you will be required to pay for the services. Our team is responsible for providing you with the best service and sound quality legal advice at a fee.

We have the honour of working with one of the best Advocates in the Legal Fraternity, my dearest father Adv. Ernest Moukangwe. He has been with the Pretoria Bar for years and recently moved to the Mpumalanga Bar of Advocates. He is excellent and gives our firm that added advantage and edge.  We borrow from his vast experience and expertise in the fields of Civil Law, Contract Law, 3rd Party Liability, Labour Law and Local Government law amongst others. For those Attorneys who are interested in briefing him he is available on the following number:
+27 67 092 8907. 



Our offices are open from Monday to Friday at 08:00 am until 16:30 pm.  We are available for consultations on Weekends only by appointment. 

We are situated at 32 BELL STREET, SUITE NO.G-16 Mbombela 1200, MPUMALANGA PROVINCE. You can reach us on the following telephone numbers to set up an appointment : 
013 762 3325 / +27795317661 
Alternatively you can email us at: 

 xolilengwenyaattorneys@gmail.com 
 
We do welcome walk in clients and look forward to assisting you with any legal issues you may be facing. 

CLOSING STATEMENT 

Nothing worth having comes easy, you need to work for everything you want. You don't have to sleep with rich married men to get what you want, get off your butt and get to work. 

Don't give up on the beauty of your dreams. Don't let the dream killers kill your self esteem. Hopefully this inspired you and you reach greater heights, if you choose to hate then choke and watch those who inspire and are inspired rise, your choice. 

It has been a privilege to finally introduce myself to my beautiful readers who have been following my blog since its inception. There you have it esteemed guests, Ms Xolile Ngwenya aka Ms_Curvy.  



Monday, 9 August 2021

10 Skills That Are Hard To Learn But Will Pay Off Forever

Lets grown and learn. Life is not all about alcohol and partying honestly. If I had a rand for every time I told my bestie that "my idea of fun is not getting wasted every weekend" I would be so rich. It's so tiring and boring honestly.

In the spirit of sharing is caring, I thought this video would assist those who like myself are in the pursuit of happiness and bettering themselves. The I want peace and joy movement. I came across 10 skills that are apparently hard to learn but will change our lives forever.

Here's to us!!!! Enjoy.

Kind Regards ❤️
Ms _Curvy 

Celebrities on Being Rich But Not Happy + Giving Advice

"Inner peace is the ultimate source of happiness and joy fulness"-Dalai Lama

So is it possible to be rich, successful and famous but still be miserable and unhappy? Does not make sense to some of us who do not feel like we are rich, successful and famous. Apparently not everything that glitters is gold. But not to say that all rich, successful and famous people are unhappy and miserable, the moral of the story is, don't think that just because you can be rich, successful and rich means that you will be happy. The moral is these things don't guarantee happiness or inner peace.

Imagine having millions in your bank account but no sleep. It makes sense because in order for you to have millions and keep them you have to constantly think. Just like being successful, you have to constantly be thinking and your brain never shuts off. This is by no means a way to deter you from wanting to be rich, successful or famous, it is however an insight into the reality that all those concepts do not guarantee you that you will be happy.

Personally, a lot of what J Cole said in the video resonates with me. When I finally got my degree, completed my articles, passed my board exams and opened my own practice, the happiness wasn't really there. I had sacrificed so many relationships and even myself so much trying to be successful but still I realised that, it does not make me happy. There are some things that money cannot buy and even when you start to make it, you are not satisfied with it because you realize that it's not worth certain decisions and parts of yourself that you lost along the way. In Shor, you cannot buy them or bring them back. 

The pursuit of happiness is a never ending challenge that we all seek to achieve. We all want to be happy with ourselves and that is a journey that we all take when we open our eyes in the morning. When we find it in some things or some people then we want to hold on to those things and those people. But things get old and you lose some, you also lose some people. So don't it make sense that you find happiness within yourself outside of "things"? . 

It took me coming to terms with the fact that a degree, admission or law firm would not make me happy, to set myself free. It dawned on me that I have to make myself happy by doing what makes me happy and makes me feel good. I learned not to tie my happiness to things, people but to my inner peace. Happiness started being, going to sleep as soon as my head touched the pillow. Happiness became opening my eyes in the morning and having another opportunity to find moments that will make me happy that day. Happiness is being content and grateful for who I am, how far I've come and all that I have overcome. Happiness became forgiving myself for all the things I did to try and make others happy and proud whilst betraying myself. Happiness is now saying no when I don't want to something and not feeling bad about it. Happiness is avoiding certain people who don't make me feel good and not having a care in the world what they think. 

There is a powerful and poignant story that puts the above conversation into perspective : 

On his death bed, Alexander the Great summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes:

The best doctors should carry his coffin;
The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones etc.) should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery; and
His hands should be let loose, hanging outside the coffin for all to see!
One of his generals, who was surprised by these unusual requests, asked Alexander to explain.

Here is what Alexander the Great had to say:

1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that, in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal.

2. I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, stays on earth.

3. I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people understand that we come to this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is TIME.

4. We do not take to our grave any material wealth, although our good deeds can be our travelers’ cheques. TIME is our most precious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time.

5. When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life that we will never take back. Our time is our life!

6. So my dear, the best present that you can give to your family and friends, is your TIME. May God grant you plenty of TIME and may you have the wisdom to give it away so that you can LIVE, LOVE and DIE in peace.

This is for you, who feel like you are not living because you are not rich, successful or famous. Those who are despondent and some desperate to get rich, successful or famous because you think that is what will make you happy. This is to remind you that all you really need is to be happy where you are right now. This is to remind you to find inner peace with yourself right now so that when the universe rewards you with riches, success and fame you will be happy and content. 

Thank you for coming to my page. Please subscribe and leave your comments on how we can make your experience better. ❤️

X. O. X. O
Ms _Curvy 

Sunday, 8 August 2021

Bishop T.D. Jakes Shares His Inspirational Lessons || STEVE HARVEY

So it's a Sunday and I usually use this day to reflect and re-centre myself. Since no man is an island I draw strength and inspiration from many great people who have walked this path on earth which we can all agree is very uncertain.

For as long as I can remember I've always loved watching Steve Harvey's comedy and found him hilarious. I distinctly remember being introduced to him by a friend of mine back when we were living in Pretoria who shared the love of comedy with me. I would literally re-watch his live shows and I remember there was so much cussing that i overlooked it and wanted to share it with my extremely strict father, until my mother intervened and stopped me.

Fast forward to the introduction of YouTube and the easy accessibility to information that changed my life. I can honestly say without out a shadow of doubt that Google and YouTube changed my life for the better. Every time I was down or unsure about something I would just Google it and a video would appear to speak me out of feeling sorry for myself. There is and was such an array of motivation for me to suck up and it started to change my mind and eventually my life.

I remember I was introduced to Bishop TD Jake's by my dear friend Nolwazi Maziya. Every time she would fetch me and we would be driving around in her car, the Bishop would be playing. I looked at her life and how it was transforming literally with every season, and I started thinking mmmmh there must be something in what she was telling me. There was a period of time in my life I started listening to him religiously and I started to see my mind and trajectory shift. His words had so much power and what he was saying was so relatable and made so much sense.

Today as we are all digging deep and trying to figure out somethings in our lives, I thought to share with you this video that I came across. I'm sharing it with the hopes that it will restore your faith today just like I did mine. We are all in this together, some might be in canoes, some in boats, some ships and some in yatchs but we are all sailing on unchattered territories and haven't the slightest idea when or what our destination is. All we need do is to have faith and hope that it will all work out together for our best interest. 

X. O. X. O
Ms_Curvy 

Wednesday, 4 August 2021

WORD OF THE DAY


Word of the Day : August 4, 2021

flexuous

play
adjective FLEK-shuh-wus

Definition

1 : having curves, turns, or windings

2 : lithe or fluid in action or movement

Did You Know?

Flexuous is a synonym of curvy. It is typically used in botany to describe plant stems that aren't rigid. But don't let that tendency deflect you from occasionally employing this ultimately quite flexible word. Stemming straight from Latin flectere, meaning "to bend," it can also mean "undulating" or "fluid." It might, for example, be used of writing or music, or of something or someone that moves with a fluid sort of grace.

Source- https://www.merriam-webster.com/word-of-the-day 

DISCLAIMER: 
So when I started my blog in 2012, I introduced "word of the day". I find it extremely comical that my first "word of the day" in I do not know how long, is flexuous, the definition of the word is even funnier because my pseudonym is "Ms Curvy" go figure. One could say that it is written in the stars or it's fate!!!! 

Fingerprint-Protected Closet In Singapore | Bonkers Closets


This is a little inspiration I picked up on Youtube. Consider it a nudge and pinch to get up and be innovative, do something. The reality is if this is the life you aspire, a job will not give you this. You need to be innovative and hustle. Remember the dream is free but the hustle is sold seperately. 

X.O.X.O 
Ms_Curvy