gone are the days where we dim our lights to accommodate others who refuse to shine theirs. i am what i am,i say what i say,you don't have to like it but i still maintain..YOU WILL RESPECT IT!Tuesday 16 April 2013
This little light of mine..
i do not need anyone to tell me i am great, like i said..as long as i still wake up in the morning God must still think i am...and let's face it his opinion is the only one that matters,so all the nay sayers can? yep! kiss my plump AFRICAN ass!
gone are the days where we dim our lights to accommodate others who refuse to shine theirs. i am what i am,i say what i say,you don't have to like it but i still maintain..YOU WILL RESPECT IT!
gone are the days where we dim our lights to accommodate others who refuse to shine theirs. i am what i am,i say what i say,you don't have to like it but i still maintain..YOU WILL RESPECT IT!
It makes the world go round..
Love
So many things I've got to tell you
But Love I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause......
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Those who faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first- Musiq Soulchild
So many things I've got to tell you
But Love I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From then on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause......
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Those who faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joy and hurt
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first- Musiq Soulchild
Reclaiming the Golden Age
It's sad how South African artists always complain about not being supported by their fellow people. I never understood until I started this blog, now I can sadly relate. I know black on black hate and let me not be a hypocrite because I am pretty sure I have also in my own way furthered it once upon a time when I was immature, but guess what? I grew up and so should you.
Hating, overlooking and belittling someone else's achievements is, lets face it childish. Bob Marley once preached the liberation from mental slavery, this is one of the things he was talking about. I once told a dear friend of mine that, people do not hate you and you living your dreams, they just hate themselves and the fact that they are too afraid to follow and live theirs. They hate you like a fat girl hates a fit girl, the fat girl does not hate the sexy girl because she is sexy, she hates her because she knows deep down inside she is also sexy too but she is too scared to be. People hate those that reflect and are not afraid to show the greatness that lies in everyone,including themselves.
I am sad and happy at the same time to announce that, although my blog keeps growing each day and I'm inundated with e mails that praise my work and inspire me to continue doing what I am doing, sadly these e mails and praises are from overseas and hardly from South Africa, where this blog is based and most importantly who this blog is for. Fact remains you can hate on me all you like, no one alive can suppress my shine, I will continue to shine brighter so my advice is you put on some shades,grab a mat and bask in my ambiance ans soak in as much as you can.
This is not only about me, its about all our artists who starve while we have the means to feed them.. Our culture,voice and identity is dying and we are contributing to this senseless genocide. I am talking about all the hustlers who wake up every day and do something to further their cause on this earth, the same hustlers who you overlook by not spending a mere 2 seconds following their links or viewing their various causes,which is free I might add,all because you're too lazy to start your own.
Keeping quiet and ignoring such would just mean I condone it and think it's right when it's not. Instead on hating on these people,hows about you try getting inspired by them? Black on black hate is what's wrong with this country,not the politics of the day. Colonisation took its toll on the nation,but that was hundreds of years ago now it's your responsibility to help in rebuilding what was broken. The soil is rich, irregardless of the blood spilt and tears that have fallen,plant something for the future generation to reap. Participating in this ignorance and pettiness just furthers in the now seemingly imminent eradication of a once great nation.
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
Hating, overlooking and belittling someone else's achievements is, lets face it childish. Bob Marley once preached the liberation from mental slavery, this is one of the things he was talking about. I once told a dear friend of mine that, people do not hate you and you living your dreams, they just hate themselves and the fact that they are too afraid to follow and live theirs. They hate you like a fat girl hates a fit girl, the fat girl does not hate the sexy girl because she is sexy, she hates her because she knows deep down inside she is also sexy too but she is too scared to be. People hate those that reflect and are not afraid to show the greatness that lies in everyone,including themselves.
I am sad and happy at the same time to announce that, although my blog keeps growing each day and I'm inundated with e mails that praise my work and inspire me to continue doing what I am doing, sadly these e mails and praises are from overseas and hardly from South Africa, where this blog is based and most importantly who this blog is for. Fact remains you can hate on me all you like, no one alive can suppress my shine, I will continue to shine brighter so my advice is you put on some shades,grab a mat and bask in my ambiance ans soak in as much as you can.
This is not only about me, its about all our artists who starve while we have the means to feed them.. Our culture,voice and identity is dying and we are contributing to this senseless genocide. I am talking about all the hustlers who wake up every day and do something to further their cause on this earth, the same hustlers who you overlook by not spending a mere 2 seconds following their links or viewing their various causes,which is free I might add,all because you're too lazy to start your own.
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
Monday 15 April 2013
Lion King
I call him my Lion King, a young royal. Let me tell you something, this man does not speak, he roars. He is my number seven. Ironic how, the number seven has always been my favourite number with it being my birth month and all,then he came and taught me its true meaning. Humble and enlightened,with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he is a breath of fresh air. Funny I should say breath of fresh air, because that's what I got when I first spoke with him. I swear on my life every time he opened his mouth whatever came out and was formed by his lips was so refreshing,I was covered in goosebumps.Everything means something to him, me included. When I am with him I don't want anything else but to stay close and listen to the heart beat,which he taught me to pay attention to, he took my hand placed it on his heart and said: do you hear how its beating? It's happy and overjoyed you are here. We purify each other with that fire that burns deep down and eternally. He causes me to smile just by the mere thought of him, my heart flutters and my toes curl.
I met someone who finishes my thoughts and lives in my head for all the right reasons. I learned patience and the art of dismissing thoughts which are not worthwhile. In other words he helped me to understand the power of my min and gave me the gift of insight on how to control my own thoughts and not let them engulf me or run away with me. The fact that he has found himself in this crazy world and he understands who and what he is just drives me insane, my mouth goes dry and my heart skips a beat. A man of minimalistic living, who is not a child of this world but of who his spirit belongs to.He is as humble and as shy as they get,praise is not what he seeks from people, but I am not people I am the 7 to his full circle.
Every superhero has his or her weakness, Samson had his hair and Achilles his heel, mine is his locks in all their glory. Running my fingers through them makes me feel like what I am and that is a woman, for those brief moments I get lost in time and in him. I know I have a very wild imagination, but not even I could imagine him, he is real and true to every letter of the word real. I never thought memories were all I needed to hold on to someone that and the assurance and promise that he is doing the same. They say you are what you answer to, if that's the case then I am a Queen, Empress and Ndlovukazi as he likes to call me, I own it because that's what my King knows I am. This is a jungle, stripes for stripes,spots for spots and this Lioness for her Lion.
Kind Regards
Ms_Curvy
Wednesday 10 April 2013
Window seat..
So, presentlyI'm standing here right now
You're so demanding
Tell me what you want from me
Concluding, concentrating
On my music, lover and my babies
Makes me wanna ask the lady
For a ticket outta town
So can I get a window seat?
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
A look around and a safe touch down
Can I get a window seat?
Don't want nobody next to me
I just want a chance to fly
A chance to cry and a long bye-bye....
Tuesday 9 April 2013
Diary of a mad black woman
I haven't had the strength or energy to write or post anything lately.Firstly I am pissed and secondly I feel defeated.Today I thought let me put my hands on the keyboard and just let my emotions flow.I finally know the emotions I am going through and those are anger and denial. I am angry at God,I wonder ho many people will scoff at that and take the high road. There I said it,I am very angry. I am angry and in denial that she's gone and he took her from us.I know she wasn't ours to begin with but then why give her to us, allow us to know her and love her and the just take her away.
What annoys me even more is everyone who just expects me to be fine and get over it. If someone says "everything happens for a reason"one more time I will ex communicate them for life. Things happen in your life for a reason clearly and you see and understand that reason, so go away with that mess I am not interested. If there ever was a reason for this, then all I am saying is it better be good.
I have tried but I swear this wont get any better or go away. I have put myself in other people who have lost loved ones,shoes cause mine were pinching me and painful. After trying on those shoes I realised their shoes were either too big,high or too small to fit at all. I realised mine were meant for me and I must just get used to walking in them,corns and all.
.Everyone keeps telling me she was waiting for me, before she could leave. I understand that looking back at the phone calls and her telling me she's not feeling well and that she wanted to see me. When she deposited the money for the trip, it was a done deal, Soweto it was. I remember I boarded the last taxi from Polokwane to Johannesburg with the hopes of surprising her. She had been frustrated the whole day and calling my mom asking her where I was, she said she was waiting the whole day to hear my voice outside. I told myself irregardless of the time, I was going to see her that day and I did.
Our week together was filled with laughter, smiles,advice and a few tears. I believe people know when it's their time to go and she did. She was at peace with what she had done on this earth and kept telling me she's going. I laughed it off like I always do, but then when the days went on and she continued I started mourning her before she even went. Whatever she wanted me to do, no matter how tired I was I did. I did it just like she had all my life,she never complained. I woke up to the cleanest house and wore the cleanest clothes, thanks to her. I remember I told her in one of our conversations and thanked her for that.
She was in pain for the past 18 years so part of me says it would be selfish of me to still want her here. She held on for as long as she could, my mom and I console ourselves with that thought. She was my grandmother,my mother,my sister, my friend and my advise column. Whenever I was down I would call her to sing with me or sing me one of her favourite choruses and that would lift my spirits. She left me on the 27th of March 2013 after we had taken her to the Doctor because she had taken a turn for the worst the previous day. I was with her, she insisted i go with her and not let go of her hand. I left for five minutes to get air and clarity, the only thing I remember was her friend who we were with calling me back. The only thing I remember then was the Doctor on her chest. That was the beginning of the end.
She is gone. I believe in angels because of her, she was one on this earth so she's continuing wherever she is. The fact that she did not stick around long enough to ride in my car, meet my husband or live in the house I was going to build her in my yard, hurts and eats me up inside. They say she's watching over me, honestly I can feel it sometimes but not in moments like this when I am trying to make sense that my Gogo_Logo is gone. My chest and throat hurt most if not all of the time.
I would have loved her to physically see the person I turn out to be. She laboured for me to be who and what I am today, I didn't want her passing to be in vain. I am however happy I was there when she crossed over to the other side, I know she will keep my seat next to her warm. I console my fact that she is reunited with her maker, her two children and her dear husband. I have a band of angels, I am surrounded and protected. I love you Nomvula Margaret Zwane, I ,miss you everyday and I will not stop. Your blood flows in my veins and I will make sure I do you proud and teach my children and grandchildren the same things you taught me, love,compassion,fellowship,laughter and cleanliness. I will mourn you and cry for you until I cannot anymore.
Lala Ngoxolo Mapule, you always made it rain my angel. Every time it rains I will jump around in it and let it pour all over me in your memory. I know that you're watching, everywhere I am. I will save a seat for you at my graduation ceremony.Needless to say my emotional unavailability will continue until further notice. Until i accept and live with this, then I will say time is the healer of things..until then...i will take every day as it comes.
What annoys me even more is everyone who just expects me to be fine and get over it. If someone says "everything happens for a reason"one more time I will ex communicate them for life. Things happen in your life for a reason clearly and you see and understand that reason, so go away with that mess I am not interested. If there ever was a reason for this, then all I am saying is it better be good.
I have tried but I swear this wont get any better or go away. I have put myself in other people who have lost loved ones,shoes cause mine were pinching me and painful. After trying on those shoes I realised their shoes were either too big,high or too small to fit at all. I realised mine were meant for me and I must just get used to walking in them,corns and all.
.Everyone keeps telling me she was waiting for me, before she could leave. I understand that looking back at the phone calls and her telling me she's not feeling well and that she wanted to see me. When she deposited the money for the trip, it was a done deal, Soweto it was. I remember I boarded the last taxi from Polokwane to Johannesburg with the hopes of surprising her. She had been frustrated the whole day and calling my mom asking her where I was, she said she was waiting the whole day to hear my voice outside. I told myself irregardless of the time, I was going to see her that day and I did.
Our week together was filled with laughter, smiles,advice and a few tears. I believe people know when it's their time to go and she did. She was at peace with what she had done on this earth and kept telling me she's going. I laughed it off like I always do, but then when the days went on and she continued I started mourning her before she even went. Whatever she wanted me to do, no matter how tired I was I did. I did it just like she had all my life,she never complained. I woke up to the cleanest house and wore the cleanest clothes, thanks to her. I remember I told her in one of our conversations and thanked her for that.
She was in pain for the past 18 years so part of me says it would be selfish of me to still want her here. She held on for as long as she could, my mom and I console ourselves with that thought. She was my grandmother,my mother,my sister, my friend and my advise column. Whenever I was down I would call her to sing with me or sing me one of her favourite choruses and that would lift my spirits. She left me on the 27th of March 2013 after we had taken her to the Doctor because she had taken a turn for the worst the previous day. I was with her, she insisted i go with her and not let go of her hand. I left for five minutes to get air and clarity, the only thing I remember was her friend who we were with calling me back. The only thing I remember then was the Doctor on her chest. That was the beginning of the end.
She is gone. I believe in angels because of her, she was one on this earth so she's continuing wherever she is. The fact that she did not stick around long enough to ride in my car, meet my husband or live in the house I was going to build her in my yard, hurts and eats me up inside. They say she's watching over me, honestly I can feel it sometimes but not in moments like this when I am trying to make sense that my Gogo_Logo is gone. My chest and throat hurt most if not all of the time.
I would have loved her to physically see the person I turn out to be. She laboured for me to be who and what I am today, I didn't want her passing to be in vain. I am however happy I was there when she crossed over to the other side, I know she will keep my seat next to her warm. I console my fact that she is reunited with her maker, her two children and her dear husband. I have a band of angels, I am surrounded and protected. I love you Nomvula Margaret Zwane, I ,miss you everyday and I will not stop. Your blood flows in my veins and I will make sure I do you proud and teach my children and grandchildren the same things you taught me, love,compassion,fellowship,laughter and cleanliness. I will mourn you and cry for you until I cannot anymore.
Lala Ngoxolo Mapule, you always made it rain my angel. Every time it rains I will jump around in it and let it pour all over me in your memory. I know that you're watching, everywhere I am. I will save a seat for you at my graduation ceremony.Needless to say my emotional unavailability will continue until further notice. Until i accept and live with this, then I will say time is the healer of things..until then...i will take every day as it comes.
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