NAME AND SHAME!

It is important to open dialogues with our children. My little sister is going to tertiary soon I thought it important to prepare her for the road ahead. It is better to be prepared, you can be late but always be prepared. If you have a little brother or sister who is also preparing to start a life of their own I think its time you equip them with the necessary information and skills to maneuver in this cold and dark place.

It is rough out there. As much as the mandate is to get there and study there are other developments that might be unavoidable like getting into a relationship. Then talk to them about what to do when it does happen. It is called INSURANCE. If a child gets into a relationship they must know about safety precautions from you and not from friends. We understand that they will make mistakes but do not let them repeat yours. If they know better they will do better.

Yes talk about condoms, morning after pills, contraceptives and most importantly SELF RESPECT. Remind them to take care of themselves at all times and that not everyone is their friend. When they go out, teach them never to leave their drinks unattended or allow any guy even the one they assume is their friend to fix or hand them a drink!!! They must drink from cans in public places and always put their thumb to cover the can when moving around people. Yes even the ones they think they know.

Looking back now I once had a friend everyone made fun of because she lost control of all her actions at a party held by "friends". She was drugged by HYENNAS masquerading as friends. It is disgusting what people are capable of. They are always plotting your demise and want to take things that do not belong to them by force.

These are lessons we must also teach our children. I teach my son and cousins that NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH THEIR PRIVATE PARTS EXCEPT FOR ME, HIS FATHER MY MOTHER, AND THEIR GIRLFRIENDS/WIVES (IN FUTURE). If any man dares to do that I give them the permission to kill him or gorge his eyes out on the spot. Call me and I will go finish it off. Let us give our children a voice, tell them to report that immediately to you and teach them TO NAME AND SHAME the culprit.

The world is a sick place. The only way we can heal it is if we know exactly what and who we are dealing with so that they can be removed from society. Growing up I used to say I wanted to be a judge because I felt so strongly about sexual predators, still do! Much to the amusement of the classroom and the teacher I used to say I would measure the culprits penis in full view of everyone and the millimeters would determine how long he would ROT in jail. After determining how many years, he would be thrown in with those who have no possibility of parole. So the same thing they take away from others can be taken away from him.

Today I ask you to begin talking to your children. Your children is not just the ones you give birth to, it is every single child. Find out. Maybe one has had an encounter with a predator and it shows in their sudden change in behavior but you have no cooking clue. I am launching the NAME AND SHAME campaign. Do the right thing today and everyday by getting behind it. These things are not humans and must be EXPOSED. What ever happened to stoning? I am of the opinion that they must be stoned to death.

The End

It just hit me this morning that not so long ago I was pregnant and sick crying almost everyday and asking myself and those around me Anele Nkosi and Nomshado Q'tèè Ngwenya when will it end???!!!!

Well it ended,God blessed me with a little angel and we are fine. Just like the year, most of us were at our wits end in the beginning or the middle of the year thinking or asking will it end?

BUT guess what we are at the end. Moral of the story konke kuhamba kuhambe kuphele.

Beyoncé - Pretty Hurts

The Complete Sex Guide [HD] Full Movie 18+ SEX ʘʘ

Cassie - Me & U (Video)

Janelle Monáe - PrimeTime ft. Miguel

Bonang's tips on dealing with bad publicity.

http://www.msn.com/en-za/entertainment/topnews/bonangs-tips-on-dealing-with-bad-publicity/ar-AAemvIz?li=AA5a2o&ocid=iehp

NEWS.

Govt denied leave to appeal al-Bashir case ..

Please follow link -> http://www.msn.com/en-za/news/featured/govt-denied-leave-to-appeal-al-bashir-case/ar-AAend3l?li=AA520r&ocid=iehp

Extra Strong.

Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.

—1 Chronicles 16:11

 

Thoughts on Today's Verse...

After restoring the presence of God to his people through the Ark of the Covenant, David and Asaph gave them these verses as a song to perpetually remind them of the importance of seeking God because ... our strength is found in him ... our grace is from his loving presence ... and our hope is in seeing him face to face and knowing him even as we are known by him. We must look to the Lord and not seek our own way or follow our own path.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

You woke up this morning now smile and get over yesterday. My 7 year old told me to get over the past this morning while I was telling him "when I was in school it didn't happen like that". Lol it's true though get over the past it happened, there's nothing you can do to change it. Do not even think too much of the future nobody knows what will really happen. Live in the now and work with what you have. I'm not saying don't learn from the past I'm just saying don't live in it. Some of us are still literally living there. Holding on to old clothes, memories, songs, old hurts and old joys that we do not appreciate or enjoy what is happening now. What a waste of a life. 

Guess it's true that you must wake up with a "what can I do today" kind of attitude. Well today I helped my son get ready for school, took my baby to the clinic, spent time with my other baby, penned down this and my day has only just started. Baby steps, I look around me and I am grateful that's why there is always eternal sunshine in this spotless mind and judging by the stares and love I'm surrounded by...it shows.

Roar!

Exactly what I think. You don't have to prove anything to anyone but God and yourself. Ain't nobody got time to be walking around explaining themselves or what they are capable of. As long as you know it and own it, it's fine. 

Chrisette Michele - A Couple Of Forevers

The Break-Up continued...

The Break-Up part 2

Dealing with Emotional Pain

 

1. Know that the pain you are feeling is normal. After a breakup, it is normal to feel sad, angry, frightened, and other emotions as well. You might be worried that you will end up alone or that you won’t be happy again. Just remind yourself that it is normal to feel this way after a breakup and that you need to feel these emotions in order to move on.

 

2. Take a break from your normal routine. It may be necessary for you to take a short break from your normal routine after a relationship ends. Having this time may help you to process your feelings and function better in the long run. Just make sure that you do not do anything that will threaten your other relationships or your livelihood.

• For example, you may be able to skip your normal exercise class for a week without consequence, but you can’t skip work for a week. Use good judgment and explain your situation to your friends if you need to cancel any plans while you recover.

3. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. The end of a relationship can leave a big hole in your heart, which may require a significant grieving period. Make sure that you give yourself permission to grieve this loss and experience the pain that it causes. Otherwise, it may take longer for you to feel better and move on. Let yourself cry, scream, yell, or whatever you need to do to get your negative emotions out.

• Try setting a daily time limit for grieving the loss of your relationship. Having a set amount of time to deal with these emotions will provide you with an outlet to vent while preventing you from dwelling on your emotions.

4. Surround yourself with supportive people. You want people around you who love you and who will help you feel good about yourself. Surrounding yourself with compassionate, supportive friends and family will help you see yourself as a worthwhile person, and you'll find it easier to get steady on your feet again with your loved ones around you.

• Don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family for support if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.

5. Find healthy ways to soothe your emotional pain. It may be your first instinct to want to ignore or dull your pain by turning to alcohol, drugs, or food, but these will not provide long-term solutions. Steer clear of these unhealthy methods of dealing with your emotional pain. Instead, try to find ways of dealing with your emotions that will lead to growth and recovery.

• Try taking up a new hobby to keep yourself occupied while you recover from a breakup. Take a class, join a club, or teach yourself how to do something. Engaging in a hobby will help you to feel better about yourself, distract you from your pain for a little while, and build up your self-esteem by helping you to develop a new skill.

To be continued.....

• 
   

Get over it.

How to Get Over a Break Up

Step 1: Work Through Your Feelings

1. Reflect on your relationship. Consider all of the reasons that you and your ex broke up. Try to keep in mind that even if that you enjoyed being together for a while, something was not working. Thinking about the reasons why the relationship ended can help you understand why you need to move on. You may also be able to avoid making the same mistakes in the future if you can identify areas where you contributed to the demise of the relationship. Ask yourself some of the following questions:

• Did I contribute to the end of the relationship? If so, what did I do?
• Do I tend to choose the same sort of people to date? If so, what are they like? Are they good for me? Why or why not?
• Have I had similar problems in other relationships? If so, what is causing me to have these problems? What can I do differently in future relationships?
  
  
  
  2. Write about your feelings. Write in a journal or try writing poems. The most important thing is to be honest and don't edit yourself as you go. One of the best results of writing it all down is that sometimes you will be amazed by a sudden insight that comes to you as you are pouring it all out onto paper. Patterns may become clearer, and as your grieving begins to lessen, you will find it so much easier to understand valuable life lessons from the whole experience.

• Try writing down your feelings every day after your breakup until you feel better. For example, you could start each of your journal entries with “It has been __ days since we broke up and I feel _____” Then go into more detail about how you are feeling. Using this prompt will help you to see the progress of your emotions over time and process some of those emotions as well.

• Try writing a letter to your ex, but do not send it. Sometimes it just helps to get all of your feelings out. However, sending it is not a good idea. This letter is just for you, so write out everything you wish you could have said and be done with it. It doesn't do any good to rehash the breakup over and over again, so just pretend you are telling them how you feel for the last time.
• Try writing a story. Think back to when your relationship with this person began, and document it from beginning to end. This may be very painful, but it will give you a broader perspective. When you get to the final chapter, finish off on a positive note and write "The End".

3. Deal with your anger. Feelings of anger occur when we feel we have been wronged or there has been unfair treatment. In a situation where you will not contact your ex-partner, the best way to deal with anger alone is to relax^.

• Take deep breaths and focus on allowing your muscles to voluntarily relax. Soft music can often help.

4. Stand by your decision. If the breakup was your decision, keep in mind that focusing on the good times you had with your partner may cause you to forget the reasons why you broke it off. By the same token, try not to second-guess the situation if the decision to end things was not yours. It's very common to romanticize the good parts of the relationship and convince yourself that the bad parts weren't so bad after all. Don't play this game with yourself. Accept the situation and work on moving forward.

 

5. Remind yourself of your ex’s negative traits. Focusing on all of the things that you don’t like about your ex can help you to get over the breakup faster. Try making a list of all of the things your ex did that you did not like. For example, maybe your ex often burped loudly after dinner, or made plans without you, or forgot your birthday. List every little thing that bothered you about your ex.

 

 

 

 

6. Consider the reasons why you are better off without your ex. In addition to reminding yourself of everything that bothered you about your ex, you can also benefit from thinking about the positives to your breakup. Make another list of all of the reasons why you are better off without your ex.

• For example, maybe your ex discouraged your efforts to eat healthy, so now you feel more empowered to follow a healthy diet and take better care of yourself. Or maybe your ex never wanted to do any of the things that you wanted to do, so now you have the freedom to do all of those things. List all of the reasons why you are better off without your ex.

 

To be continued.......

Tamar Braxton - All the Way Home

Where was Tamar Braxton all along though??!!!!

I love, love, love this woman. She is proof that hard work and determination pays off.

Thank you for lessons learned.

Flawless!!!

I have been challenged by my little sister to pen down my thoughts. We had a heart to heart and I think we finally get it. After years of sibling catfights and not getting along, I think we just might have found each others heartbeats. For as long as I can remember my mom was always begging us to get along.

I've always loved her unconditionally and would gnaw out someone's eyeballs with my own hands if they hurt her, but we just did not get along at all. I am grateful for wisdom and the peace that has tied us together at long last. I love my family and their support is all one ever really needs, the outside is secondary.

Everyone has a gift, your family being your biggest. We need to see our siblings for who they are and accept it and them. There was one line I could never shout out in Beyoncé's flawless, now I can with conviction...

Momma taught me good home training
My Daddy taught me how to love my haters
My sister told me I should speak my mind
My man made me feel so God damn fine, I'm flawless!

Destiny's child.

I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed.- Paulo Coelho

 

Thank you

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
my head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
and even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the
day
and then you call me and it's not so bad
it's not so bad and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life- Dido

T.D. Jakes, Living With Uncertainty.

I love this. It is the most beautiful gift.

It echoes my favourite African Proverb: " Only a fool knows everything"

Listen.



Kind Regards

Ms_Curvy

Frienship

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."

Respect..

"I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience and to respect the fury of nature."

.....

Who you are

“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don't expect to get anything back, don't expect recognition for your efforts, don't expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
 
― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

Complete

Snooze

I think I met myself in my dreams one night...I did not want to wake up.

Waking up.

When or how it happened it all goes to God. The source of strength and an unimaginable joy accompanied by a corage you never thought was possible. Thank you for spirit, thank you for resilience and most importantly thank you for grace. It all goes to Him. He does it all. 

To be given a new lease on life and a wonderful way to see that all good things are yours if you do good and think good. Surrendering everything feels amazing. 

We reap what we sow. Wrong is wrong and right is right. Just like each good turn deserves another so does a bad one.

Change is beautiful,change is inevitable only if you embrace it.

If the caterpillar didn't embrace it's vibrant new colors and wings it wouldn't be able to fly.

So fly. 

Kind Regards

Ms_Curvy

Thoughts.

Apparently we are our thoughts. What we think about we bring about. If you think about pain and hurt that is exactly what is going to come into your life.mhowever if you think of success and joy that is exactly whatbyoubare attracting into your life.

I once read somewhere about the importance and power of meditation. I learnt that meditation is not used to control your thoughts, but to help you to stop them from controlling you.

Thought has that effect hey, it can control how you feel,think and do but I've come to notice that itv only does that if we let it.

It can hold you captive and keep you in solitary confinement. Ever been improsoned by your own mind? Where you have Q and A's with yourself? 

In that Q and A you fall deeper and deeper into the abyss because you see no way out. You have convinced yourself that everything us wrong and in turn your actions become wrong, causing even more wrong in your life. How did it start? You thought about it!

Now imagine a world where all you think about is what you really want and not wat could go wrong or worse not getting stuck in something bad that happened, overcoming it and allowing it to make you a better person. It's true that in order to give a testimony you must have gone through a test. It's how you go through that test that is the ultimate sign of character. Some cower and buckle in those troubles while some rise and let these lessons manifest and make them better people. 

Today we make a vow to ourselves to think light,goodness and love. This is turning will come back to us inabundance.

We promise ourselves to let our positive thoughts be like wands of light that appear to shun out the dark and seedy thoughts that creep in and cause us discomfort. 

Today we live for toda, are grateful for yesterday and hope for tomorrow. 

We don't plan what will happen tomorrow, we are content with the now, the present, today because we know tomorrow has enough troubles of its own. 

Word of the day.

unpretentious

adjective: unpretentious

1. not attempting to impress others with an appearance of greater importance, talent, or culture than is actually possessed.

   "a friendly and unpretentious hotel"

   synonyms:

   unaffected, modest, unassuming, without airs, natural, straightforward, open, honest, sincere, frank, ingenuous, artless, guileless, honest-to-goodness "in spite of his fame he was thoroughly unpretentious"

    

Advice.

Instead of complaining about things in vain, just write about it.
Inspiration hits at the most awkward hours and times. Once I start I never want to stop. Maybe one day I will end up a famous writer who knows?
Decisions should be yours and yours alone. Be wise and follow advice, but my advice is follow solicited advice. Because some things are commentaries or opinions dressed up as advice when it really is not.
Not everyone who advises you has your best interest at heart, learn to tell the difference.
Do not be to proud to ask if you cannot do something, some people really do know better than you do. Just listen.
Advice is defined as "guidance or recommendations offered with regard to prudent action"
If its not guiding you to be prudent or in laymen's terms do the right thing or be a better person..Its not advice.

I just called..

I just called to say..
I love you
I just called to say how much I care..
I just called to say...I LOVE YOU
AND I MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART..

This song reminds me of my dad when I was young. It's one of those songs that just warms my heart no matter how I am feeling. I think this song helped me understand love. I still feel that when Stevie Wonder wrote it and sang it he meant the emotion and every word that's why everyone could relate to it, love and feel loved because of it. If you know me you would know my love affair with Stevie Wonder is my heart and head. I love him and my dad even more because he introduced me to this man. Because of them I know love. I was always intrigued by how a blind man can  be able to describe things he sings about so vividly. Then I learned love is what you feel. so is beauty. You can never really see it, all you can do is feel it.  

Lots of love
Ms_Curvy

Love Calls..

I'm sitting' here thinking' about you tonight
And all that you mean to me
I used to think I would never fall in love again
I guess I was wrong

When your heart was broken
When your wounded pride was laid to rest, baby
You'll never open your heart to anyone else, you said
But you lied, I know you're lying, babe

You see your mind might be made up, mmm
But your heart has got its own plans
There's no one to blame the false pride, telling lies, trying to hide
From feeling the pain, I know you don't wanna feel

There's nowhere to hide when love is calling your name, yeah
From the dark, nowhere to hide, baby, yeah
There's nowhere to hide, so let love have its way with your heart
When love calls, love calls, love calls your name

-KEM

When shit hits the fan.

I'm starting to think most if not all relationships are shitty. If it smells like shit,looks like shit..then honey chances are it is shit.

I mean do not be fooled by what you see it is hot out there. If 99% of the pictures we see out there are filtered, what makes you think what people sell you as perfect is really real?

This might just save someone out there who thinks they go through crap alone. I'm here to tell you, you're not alone boo. There's a lot like you. 

Africa is for Africans.

I don't understand racism especially in South Africa or Africa as a whole? 

How the hell do white people get away with disrespecting someone in their own land? 

Last time I checked Africa is fir Africans and that is black people.

It's like going to someone's house as an unwanted visitor and wanting to run the household. 

White people need to exercise a certain level of chill! They clearly don't know their place and I think it's time they were reminded. And they call us savages and unmannered ha! 

In all honesty.

LMAO!

"Horton Hears A Who"

I treat everyone the same. Everyone is a person to me. I believe in sound=mind.
I 've never been one to look at abilities or disabilities, everyone is the same to me.
At the end of the day, no one wants anyone to feel sorry for them or treat them differently..we all the same.

So cool.

Did you know?

Check in, Tag and Like.

The best piece of advice I got last year was to never let my relationship play out on any social sites. 

I'm a very private person by nature and don't feel the need to validate whst I have by showing it or sharing it with others. It's true that something's are better kept to yourself, I mean imagine if you are no longer together? Then you have to go back and delete all those pictures you've been putting up? Aaah such hassle.

Over time I have seen that the more you share with people something is the more they form opinions about it. 

Take pregnancy for example if you tell some people, one will be happy for you and congratulate, the other one will have reservations and be happy, then the other one will ask you why you are you keeping it etc. You find that this is confusing and if you are not sure yourself it confuses you even further.

Imagine in the case of a relationship."Friends" will search your partner, find out who they are and what they do, who they've been with or still are with besides you. Not every one who smiles to your face and claims try are happy for you is really happy for you. 

You find someone telling everyone about how happy they are with do and do, then all of a sudden you her no more. 

No one really needs to know, a relationship is between two people the rest are really unsolicited spectators who don't really need to know your business because half if not most of the time they hate they you are happy.

I'm slowly weening myself off Social networksw with time I'm finding the futility of it all. I've often questioned the need to have thousands of friends that you don't even know,hardly talk to or have ever seen or will see. You find that you have 600 friends, none of which hardly comment on anything you port up then you ask yourself what's the point of keeping them? We live in a world so superficial and want to feel good by the number of likes we get on pictures or comments. How many of these are actually genuine. I've realized that most of these people only want to be "friends" with you just to keep tabs on you just because their own lives are so miserable and boring. 

I'm seriously bored with people who go through your pictures, check ins and status updates and all of a sudden think that they know you. If I had a rand for every time I bumped into someone at a part and they were shocked that I was sober I'd be a billionaire. The sad part is little do they know that I dont drink that much or at all. I don't take acidic drinks, no cool drink or ciders, my palate just doesn't take it. I drink wine when I want to. People are so ignorant into believing that you have to be drunk to have fun. I myself am the embodiment of gun and joy and don't need to be activated by something in a bottle. But alas! People think they know what's happening because of pictures you put up or by the lack of status updates?.?! Really?! I don't think so, there's more to life that a tag,like, comment or check in. 

We don't need people to like what we think or have to say to validate our presence here. We just need to stay true To who we are and do what we have to do. 

   

I'm having trouble sleeping 😴

It's been a week and I. Don't remember the last time I had a good nights rest. Maybe I'm thinking too much or maybe I'm awake in someone dreams. Thank God we do not look like what we have been through, thank you I don't look like what I go through every night.

My eyes are closed but I'm not asleep. I take random power naps during the night but it hardly lasts. 

Maybe my body is going through changes with the new developments and all, if that's the case this is going to be a looooong ride. 

I love sleep and lack of it shows. I have to sleep at least 8 hours a day or the cracks show. I either get migraines or my nose contests. Beauty sleep is a bonus ultimately it's about peace of mind and resting my brain. 

Word For the day.

ethereal

adjective: ethereal; adjective: etherial

1. 1.

   extremely delicate and light in a way that seems not to be of this world.

   "her ethereal beauty"

   synonyms:

   delicate, exquisite, dainty, elegant, graceful, beautiful, lovely

The most beautiful.

Only for the brave.. Woman's vagina infested with worms 🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛

http://www.timeslive.co.za/lifestyle/2015/01/06/medical-error-infested-woman-s-vagina-with-maggots

Ms_Curvy

Last year was a year we Turned Up! Oh boy did I turn up.

This year however is time I Earned Up!

Seriously want a home office. Make my own rules, look after my children, fetch them at school,make lunch and handle my business in the comforts of my own home. 

This whole reporting for duty will not work for long, I'm my own boss I know it.

Move!

Letting go is not always easy but we have to.

What was once was cannot always be. Seasons change,priorities change and people change.

Where rivers once flew freely,time makes them flow no more.

The once green and lush gardens become dried up hot deserts also over time. 

Do not feel bad that the deserts were once oceans of life. Be happy that life was once there and it happened. Find the sea shells in the sand.

Find comfort in the fact that when the water flew you drank and that when the garden was lush you basked in the breeze under its shade.

Storyteller.

I came across this particular picture this morning and it struck a cord. 

I thought about my own life story and the people I've met. The ones who either went through my index or folded the pages they found interesting. 

A lot of people I've found like the idea of you and who you are, but seldom appreciate or understand the reality of you.

I myself have we through some indexes and folded some pages or even read some books which I finished but did not have much of an impact on me or my life.

What is it really all about? 

I feel like I'm a magical book that never ends, there's always pages and chapters added mysteriously everyday. It will take only the brave one to never want to put it down and read it for the rest of their lives. If that what loving me would be equated to. 

Did you know?

Myself