Accountability.

If people had the slightest idea on how difficult being a parent is, they would approach starting families with caution. I am a mother to a 4 year old and let me tell you this is by far the hardest thing I have had to do. Unlike everything I have owned in my life, which I have lost,broke and given to someone else, my son is not one of them.

Once you grapple your head around the fact that once he or she is born they are yours for the rest of your life and you are theirs for the rest of their lives, then maybe you are ready to procreate. Giving life is the biggest task which needs constant revision which might lead to second guessing yourself. I never understood until I got my head around the fact that he is mine, literally and figuratively. In a sense that I carry him everywhere from the moment I wake up in the morning until the minute I go to bed at night.

You start to take care of them when they are still being formed and as you carry them around all those nine months. The day they decide it's time to come out, you fear for them more then you fear for yourself. Suddenly life happens,and that is how it will be for the rest of your life. Pain becomes all that more real, not only for yourself but for them as well. So believe when I say,spiritual,mental and physical maturity are key when embarking on this journey.

I would never trade my son for anything in the world. Ever since he has been in my life I feel like he has been there forever I can never imagine a world without him. When they talk about a love that lasts forever this is what they are talking about. He made me ready, ready to face life and anything that might be thrown my way because I am not only accountable for myself anymore. He reminds me of my purpose with every candle on his birthday cake. Because of him I understand how God feels, how he dreams bigger dreams for us and wants more for us.

I have found my reason to live and succeed at whatever I do because now I understand it stopped being about me 4 years ago. Love has another meaning now,its unconditional, my heart stops beating if I call his name and he doesn't answer. My mouth goes dry when I don't see him for more than 20 minutes, my heart melts ever morning when he opens his eyes. Moral of the story? You have not truly experienced love until you are replicated.