Fragmented.

Maybe sometimes they’ve never been loved before, or they’ve never been in love before..or maybe they don’t know the feeling of being loved..  These words are not my own, but they struck a cord and moved me to inspect them more closely. I heard this on one of my free therapy sessions courtesy of the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill album.

Jaded is what most people if not all of us are. Worn out and weary from the hunt of acceptance and a true sense of belonging. A belonging whether it is to a group or the ultimate, an individual.   In this relentless pursuit to find someone to make us whole we are chipping pieces of ourselves away, fragments in time.  “What a man desires is unfailing love.” Proverbs 19:22. We are all plagued by fear, whether it could be fear of failure, the unknown, disappointment,  hurt, rejection,  death , misery, loneliness and ridicule. But beneath it all the biggest fear is the fear of not being loved.  1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”    

Love emanates and is borne in all of us. It begins with you. You have to love yourself first before you can love anybody else. This statement is broad enough and includes your parents. A child who does not care about his or her parents does not care for themselves.  If you have no love for yourself,  or the people who are responsible for your existence then how are you possibly going to have any love for anybody else? Charity begins at home and love in my humblest opinion is the biggest act of charity one can give freely to another.

If you don’t have love for yourself how can you ever try to love somebody else? There is a fine line between loving yourself and being in love with yourself let’s not get it twisted. I do not propagate conceit but what I do advocate is understanding the choice you have to give what is in you freely, first to yourself and secondly to another. It’s sad to think some people contrary to popular and their own beliefs don’t truly know what it feels like to be loved. Loved by anybody, most of all themselves.

Self -loathing is the sickness that feeds on the hearts of the young it cages, because they are not enlightened as to the gifts they carry, they are imprisoned by self -doubt.  These gifts are released when you just allow yourself to feel what you are too scared to feel.  Free, love. Free it, it’s free, love. Whichever way you want to put it, it just has to be free. It’s a freedom which everyone is entitled to, a freedom that unlocks all the unexplainable smiles, giggles and butterflies.  Freedom is guaranteed a choice. A choice to enjoy that freedom.  Let freedom reign in your life. No confinements by uncertainty,  lift the ban on happiness in your life that’s what I’m suggesting today.

Stop looking for love and approval from other people.  Granted peoples praises will offer you an escape for a while, but when it’s all said and done,  it’s  just you and your biggest enemy, yourself.  It’s time to make peace. The different hoes that stain your sheets every night or the assortment of thieves of the night that steal pieces of your dignity every night,  will not substitute what you are trying to supress, and that is the insatiable urge of security and the warmth provided by the sense of belonging somewhere.

Regards

Ms_Curvy