Wednesday 22 August 2012

Something new

Is your relationship and most importantly your sex life hanging on a piece of thread? Are you tired of routine, doing the same thing over and over again? Do you have to try harder for his little friend to rise to the occassion?  Without me running the risk of sounding like a love potion commercial, I'm here to hand you the fuse to re ignite the flame.

As much as we like to b*tch about men and what they don't do in bed, I shudder at the thought of what they say about us. So to help myself and my sistas to save face,I have looked at a couple of things we can look at and most definetely switch up to make our men happier. With that said this is about what the ladies can do for you, this does'nt mean I'm not going to publish what you can do to make us happier yeah..

Ladies pay attention this is a public announcement:

Talk dirty as you make love
A lot of women, myself included are too embarrassed  to talk dirty during sex don’t ask me why since my vocabulary consists of the dirtiest words known to man .  So appearanytly most perverts, oops I meant men like it - a lot. If you tell him “na ngapha liyangena" when you're both enjoying sex, he's most likely to come there and then! So yes ladies not only women who get paid for pleasure must talk that talk.

Do something different
It’s time to exile MISSIONARY yes I said it. That position should be reserved for 2 occasions, namely you’re deflowering (which most of you forgot anyway) and secondly, pity sex. It’s time to try something different *yawns*. Put the frozen chicken back in the freezer. If you usually have sex with him on top, roll over so you're doing it on your sides, facing each other. If you haven't tried woman on top, get up there and ride him. If he likes gate crashing or in other words the back entry then let him enter you from behind. In other words ladies live out your fantasies, we all have them.

Wake him up in the night for sex
A woman can always seduce a man subtly if she puts her mind to it and we all know it, so put that knowledge to good use and stop being a prude. You know what happens if you press your “pakistan” up against him in the night while moving your hips around a little as you do this? Well I do.. He’ll soon be revving his little engine to go. Can you say Road Trip!?

Know how to kiss
Yes, it's nice to enjoy gentle kissing, but he'll certainly appreciate a bit of full-on mouth work from you from time to time especially during the deed. I don’t know what it is about the damn tongue but play around with his while court is in session and lemme know.

Explore his body
No hand jobs please, this is not about one part of his body it’s about everything. Even though that’s what they are ALL about there are not made up of just that one muscle *unfortunately* .Tickle him or give him a massage, yes even if he’s black,   contrary to popular belief men also love being touched, so find the sensitive spots that drive his Indigenous ass crazy!  A little tongue here and there together with the occasional nibbling will have a brother blurting out bank pins *triedandtested*.

Discover his favourite sexual positions
Take the time to find out what turns him on, and he'll show his gratitude both in and out of the bedroom! Discovering should be accompanied by effort. If he tells you what he likes why not try it out and let him be the man, take the lead and guide you? Trust he will be all too happy to do that.

Undress in front of him
Yes, we know you're self-conscious about your body. But here's the good news – he likes it. He knows it intimately, he makes love to it, and he sees it as a thing of beauty; he doesn't look for the flaws in it, like you might be tempted to do. So he'll love watching you undress, and if you add a little innocent seduction into the process, he'll get turned on and show you how much he appreciates your body when you do make love

Play with his balls
Say Hello to my little friends. They need attention too. They should come with a “fragile” warning for those who don’t know how sensitive they are, so do handle with care. Here’s something you could do with Ping and Pong, try taking one at a time into your mouth and gently rolling it around. Operative word being gentle. For those who took my advanced class, TEA BAGGING is still the order of the day.
Learn how to give proper head
I came accross the female Bible (Cosmopolitan) when I was very young,thanks mom, and my curious nature lead me to a topic about head, I remember the opening line and I would advice you to as well "it is not a borehole and you are not trying to draw water" that together with the illustration povided by my vivid imagination, was engraved in my mind.  Notorious B.I.G says in one of his songs "if the head right Biggie there er'night" if that line alone is not motivation enough for you to perfect this and give it regurlarly then I dont know what will. Think of it as a microwave and sex as conventional stove cooking. Let's face it, sometimes you don't really feel like standing in front of a hot stove..

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