Tuesday, 11 September 2012

I do.. or maybe I don't


Oh what a beautiful morning.. Oh what a wonderful day I've got a wonderful feeling.. Everything’s going my way! No this is not an All-Bran ad, I didn't get it all this morning *sigh* however my morning class was CANCELLED!! With Kanye West Flashing lights live in the background, this day is looking upbeat, may the Lord bless every single one of us and our hustle *halo*. The cancellation of the class has inspired me to blog about something.

 

This sh*t right here nigger, this sh*t right here is for the brothas. Ladies can take notes they

will come in handy, don't worry like Drake you will thank me later. This one is for my brothas, the ones who are becoming men and selecting their life partners. I mean the ones who are taking the step towards real commitment; you know which one's I'm talking about the ones that want to retire from "the chase". Well I am here to assist you by providing you with criteria a lady must meet before you apply for the old ball and chain.

 

Most men want women like their mothers. That is not a bad thing at all, that just tells you he wants to be taken care of. I look at myself and my son and how I care for him, I want him to find someone who can take care of him like I do. Let us face it all men are like children and they need to be taken care of. I can just see the feminists with their noses in the air; well that’s why it’s going to be just you and your cats. I’m being realistic though a man needs to find and be with someone he knows will be able to take care of him and his household.

 

How do you know the woman you think has the potential, really is the one? Well obviously I’m about to school you on what you have to inspect closely before you decide to jump the broom so to speak. The things I’m telling you she must possess are not negotiable! They are the essentials as far as I’m concerned. Think of this as your version of standards.

 

·         She must be a good cook. I don’t care if she missed perfection by 1% but a woman who has not found her way around the kitchen is a bust. They say a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and nothing beats a warm plate prepared with love. A woman should make it a point that you are always fed.

·         She understands Man Movie references. In other words she knows about The Godfather and Scarface, Al Pacino and her must be acquaintances.

·         She finds you amusing. If she does not find you amusing it is only going to get worse as time goes on. You don’t even have to try hard here, if she does not find you amusing it’s not going to change, keep moving buti.

·         Sexual chemistry. There must be insane sexual chemistry; you know what kind of chemistry I’m talking about right? The kind that cannot get you two to keep your clothes on when you are in close proximity of each other. Like amusement, she has to be sexually attracted to you, if not trust! It will get worse with time so if you don’t have the chemistry.. hamba buti.

·         She tolerates your farts. As much as some people will find this funny, it’s true. You need someone who can make you feel that comfortable and that understands that sometimes you just can’t keep it in. A person who can detect it even if it slips and does not even flinch when she tells you she knows.

·         Intelligence. This in simple terms just means she has to get it. You both have to be on the same plane. She needs to be able to relate to you on your thoughts, opinions and observations. If however she outsmarts you and makes you feel like a complete moron, then sorry keep moving..

·         She is not always right. Not only that but she also admits to it. A woman who can say I am sorry, that’s a keeper.

·         She is fine with you going out. In other words she is not a NAG. She understands the fact that you are a man and need to be in the company of people like you and does not feel the need to check up on you. This woman must know the concept of “space”.

·         She puts up with your shit! Phrased differently, she tolerates you and the nonsense she has accepted the things you won’t change or won’t do.

·         She does not take shit! This woman will let you know with “the eye” or calmly when you are stepping out of line. If she causes scenes and throws her toys in front of your friends, journey on she’s not the one.

·         She gets along with your friends.  A woman who will not make you choose between her and your friends is a keeper. If your friends also enjoy her company that is always a bonus.

·         Her friends don’t suck. You can tell a lot about somebody on the company they keep. If she so happens to keep friends that make you enjoy having them around and guarantee you a good time, she is a gem.

·         She does not have sudden headaches to avoid sex. That is just an excuse and if used more than once then it means you are not amusing and the sexual chemistry has fizzled or is fizzling and that means it’s on to the next one!

 

As I have mentioned before these are the essentials. Speaking of essentials, my 10:15 class is one. If she has more crosses than ticks after you went down the requirements then I guess you have to start the search again, she just will not cut it.

 

Kind Regards

Ms_Curvy

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